1 Week Old

I can't believe it's been a week already! The time has flown by. At the end of the day I wonder how it went by so fast...and then wonder WHY it went by so fast. It doesn't seem like I do much. Of course, I live 3 hours at a time. That's how often I nurse Evan and each feeding takes at least 45 minutes. Most of that 45 minutes is spent trying to wake him up to eat more. The past few days most of his actual eating times have been 13 minutes. And yet it still takes 45 minutes to complete that process.

Breastfeeding has been incredibly rough. I don't mind waking up during the night, I don't mind spending all of my time with him, I don't mind my life being consumed by motherhood and nothing else. But breastfeeding has made motherhood hard for me. He wasn't latching properly for a couple of days. I was bleeding and sore and dreaded nursing times. I was SO close to giving up. He was also nursing every 2 hours at that point, probably because he wasn't getting enough due to the latch. On Wednesday I ended up driving myself to the midwife's office to get checked because the lactation consultant I talked to on the phone said I should because I might have an infection (which I didn't, he just wasn't latching properly). I got a last minute appt and we didn't have enough time to get Evan ready, I walked straight out the door. After getting in the car and driving a little ways down the road I realized that I really shouldn't be driving. I drove so carefully all the way though. Later I actually read my discharge instructions that said not to drive until approved by the midwife. lol

Things have been CRAZY. This is only the second day that I've been home the whole time. It's also only the second day that I've taken a nap. Just last night I realized that I am drained and healing is actually going to take longer if I keep going like I have been. So today I was determined to relax. We still had visitors (my family), but I've made a point of laying back on the couch and not doing any bending, squatting, sitting cross legged, etc. Needless to say, last night I was very sore down there, I think I was doing too much moving around.

Evan has had 2 doctors appointments so far. One on Thursday. He had gained .4 oz, not enough for them to be sure he's really gaining. So we had to go back yesterday to make sure. He gained an ounce! When we were discharged from the hospital he weighed 6 lbs, 10 oz. Now he's 6 lbs, 11 oz. That's good news and his pediatrician (who I really like!) said that he's obviously doing fine with his feeding, even though he doesn't spend long actually eating. He said to go ahead and just let him eat for 5 minutes on one breast and then as long as he will go on the other. He's still having A LOT of bowel movements and he's peeing A LOT too! lol So I guess it's all good, although it worries me that sometimes he only eats less than 10 minutes total.

Nights are actually going really well. We don't wake him up every 3 hours between 9 pm and 8 am, we wait until he cries to feed him. So sometimes he'll go about 4 to 4 and a half hours between feedings. This child almost never cries. The most he cries is sometimes when we're changing him (cold wipes!). He doesn't even cry when he's ready to eat, he just makes fussy noises. It's actually kind of hard to read him. The doctor said to wait until he screams at night to feed him, but I don't think he ever will scream. I just wait until he actually cries. And usually he'll only cry for a couple of seconds and then stop and whimper or make fussy noises. I go ahead and feed him though because I just don't think he is a screamer or much of a crier. I'm SO BLESSED, I know! My mom is miffed, she said that after all the trouble I gave her when I was a baby, I should have a difficult child too. ;-)

Nursing is still hard, but I think I can make it. I'm starting to accept the fact that he just doesn't eat for long, so I think that will make things easier. I can stop spending 30 minutes plus trying to wake him up. I have to pump about every other feeding time to keep my breasts from becoming too full. Sometimes he won't eat unless I do that first. That's a bummer because it just takes up more time, but I'm hoping I won't always have to do that. We still have a lot to learn about feeding and things are only getting better, so maybe someday we'll both get the hang of it.

I feel very weak a lot of the time. I'm not all that tired, because I've been getting quite a bit of sleep at night (more than most mothers of newborns!), but I'm just weak. I'm going to try to relax more the next few days, but the nurse I talked to the other day said that if I don't feel stronger in a few days that I should make an appointment, I might be anemic. Matt has been a HUGE help, he changes most of the diapers, helps wake Evan up during feedings, swaddles him (I'm going to have to learn to do that better before Matt goes back to work!), cleans, does the laundry, cooks, etc, etc, etc. Plus he's just encouraging, especially about the breastfeeding. He's very involved in every aspect. He'd be the perfect stay-at-home dad. I only wish we could both stay at home all day with Evan! Matt is going back to work on Wednesday, he'll be out of vacation days by then. :-(

Okay, I promise I'm going to end this huge post! It's feeding time. :-)