crazy cats continued

Thanks for all of the honest and supportive comments on my last post! A lot of new things have come up on this subject....and I am still undecided on what to do.

We took Firefly to the vet last week because we suspected she had another bladder infection (she also had one in January). Matt took her and told the vet how aggressive she's become in the last year. She immediately said she thought Firefly should go on "kitty prozac" because of the sudden change in personality! She then asked if there's been any stress in her life. Matt told her we have a 9 month old son. He told her more details and she's pretty certain that Firefly just isn't adjusting to Evan and probably won't without some help -- in the form of "kitty prozac" that costs $20 a month (figures). It's also "convenient" that it comes in the form of a capsule pill that we have to give her EVERY DAY. The first 3 nights we gave it to her we spent about 30 minutes each night trying to force it down her throat (last night was the 4th and it only took 5 very painful stressful minutes). She then spends the entire night and most of the next day hiding under the bed pouting. One of Matt's co-workers summed it up nicely - "so you are forcing pills down her throat every day to make her like you more?" lol

It should take effect in about 3 weeks. The vet said we should notice a huge difference in her personality. She will have to be on the meds about 4 months before going to every other day, then another few months before weaning off them altogether. The vet said that if she reverts back to her aggressive behavior after that we should definitely find a new home for her for her health and Evan's safety. The stress of having Evan in the house is causing her aggression, causing her to stop grooming herself, and causing the recurring bladder infections. The doctor did a complete physical exam and a urine test just to make sure there wasn't bacteria or some other pain causing the problems and sure enough, it was all clear, meaning that it is stress causing these problems. The vet said she wouldn't be surprised if she lost some of the excess weight after being on the meds too. I'm not even going to say what all of this cost us (not including the monthly payments for the meds). Well...I'll just say it was over $300. Over $350. Over....nah, it wasn't over $400 thankfully!!!

So for her we're wondering should we keep her and hope that the meds work? For all we know in 7-8 months we might be back at square one. Plus if she can't handle Evan how is she going to handle a second baby addition and possibly a third in the future? How is she going to handle it when Evan is older and has friends over on a regular basis? How is she going to handle moving to a new house someday? I just feel like it would really be best for her to live with an older person/people who are established and not going to go through any big changes. I'm wondering how I'm going to continue her medicine when Matt is out of town. It's hard enough giving it to her with both of us working at it. And what are we going to do when we both go out of town next month?? It's way too hard to ask my sister or a friend to do that for us. But we'll see, we still haven't made any decisions.

Serenity....*sigh* She has become even worse with Evan. He has scratches all up and down his arms. One was especially nasty (bleeding) and he cried after she did it (he rarely cries when she scratches him). I've taken to locking her up the entire time he's awake. He knows that she'll hurt him now and ignores her until she continually positions herself to be right in front of him. She'll even go up and rub her head all over him until he grabs her fur (then she immediately hisses and scratches him). I have been especially vigilant with watching him lately. The other day she was in the room with us and I had to run to the next room to grab my brush. I started out and looked to see where Serenity was. She was following me. Great! I don't have to lock her up just to go grab something. I grab it and return to the room about 10 seconds later. She's laying next to him. Huh? She must have turned around and ran back in after I saw her following me. Oh well. Look at Evan's arm. New scratch. Wow. I can't even leave him alone for 10 seconds if she's on the loose.

Every time I see Evan's arms I make the decision to find a new home for her. But then at night or during nap time I think, "nooo, I can't get rid of her. She's my favorite." At this point I'm still undecided. We ordered Soft Paws for her and will try them out again. We tried them when she was a kitten and within 2 days half of them had fallen off. Another 2 days and they had all fallen off. But maybe now that she isn't as active they will stay on and will work.

To be honest, part of me wants to get rid of them just because of the messes they make. The hair, the cat food all over the living room, the pieces of cat litter all over the house. So with all of the real problems added to that, it makes me want to get rid of them. *sigh* Oh well....I just don't know what to do. Last night I had made the firm decision to go ahead and try to find a home for them (we'd probably have to separate them which I doubt will bother them at this point since they rarely hang out together). We don't have to give them up if we aren't comfortable with the home they would be going to. But now I'm not so sure... ahhhH!!!!!

crazy cats

These cats are seriously driving me insane. I know I haven't talked much about them since having Evan. They've been bothering me for a little over a year now for various reasons, but things seem to be getting worse now.

I'll start with Firefly. When we moved in 2 years ago she probably weighed about 9 pounds (and we thought she was big then!). She was beautiful and friendly and everyone who came over loved her and she loved them.

Serenity was the bad and shy cat. Weird combination, I know! She was a little demon in our apartment, constantly tearing things up (including 2 leather couches). However, she is scared of everyone who comes in the house (except my brother, oddly enough). She's always been high maintenance, but it's better the past year since she "grew up."

Now Firefly is a huge (she got up to 15.5 pounds), mean, grumpy cat who doesn't clean herself properly. Her fur is tangled and has clumps that we're always having to cut out. We took her to the vet back in January and the vet said she is too overweight which is why she can't reach several areas on her body to clean (including one area that you really want a cat to clean, especially an indoor cat...). We started giving both cats senior cat food which apparently has less calories or something and we restricted how much we give them. We took her back to the vet 2 weeks later and she had already lost 1 pound. To be honest I had no clue that she was unhealthily overweight. My parents have a HUGE cat (19 pounds) that I grew up with and so I just compare mine to theirs....Firefly didn't seem so big then. lol Anyway, I was excited about her losing weight. I thought maybe that's why she's become so aggressive and mean the past year and a half, because she isn't healthy and is uncomfortable. Unfortunately she hasn't lost any more weight (that I can tell) and she still isn't grooming herself properly and she's still mean. She will scratch anyone who touches her and has even gone out of her way to attack me when I was sitting down on the couch beside her.

The problem is that she comes and sits right next to you...but when you move she'll scratch you. I just wish that if she was going to be so mean she would stay out of our way. Also, we'll have visitors come by and she'll come right up to them and rub against them but if they pet her she'll scratch them and hiss. I now have to warn everyone not to touch her even though she seems friendly. For awhile I thought maybe she was in pain and that explained it, but the vet seemed to think everything was good except for her being overweight.

Serenity is too smart for her own good and always has been. She now knows that she can get away with anything since I can't yell at her or run after her while taking care of Evan. She waits until I'm rocking or feeding him or until just after I've put him in his crib and he is about to go to sleep. She'll start tearing up the couch or clothes hamper or something else she shouldn't be scratching. If I'm feeding Evan, giving him a bath, or rocking him I can't do anything. I can't run after her and if I yell it scares Evan and he starts to cry. She's too far away to spray with water and that doesn't work anyway (that actually encourages her to do bad things because it becomes a game).

Now that Evan is moving she will go and lay down right in front of him. He'll pull her fur or her tail and she'll hiss and swipe at him. If I'm around I'll make him stop and keep him away from her, but she gets into his gated play area with him. The reason I put that gate up was so that he can play and I don't have to constantly watch him. Well the other day she scratched him on the head....big time. You can see 4 scratch marks where all of her claws dug into him. It bled pretty badly too. She also got him on the other side of his head, but not as bad. Now what if she had scratched him 2 inches lower? She would have scratched his eye. It's bad enough having those marks on his head, but what if they were on his face? I was getting ready for church when it happened and I wasn't able to make it on time because I had to clean the cuts. Plus I didn't want him to go to church looking all beat up. I'm now trying to shut her up in the office when I am busy and put him in his play area. But that's hard to do when I'm in a hurry getting ready because I don't want to waste time chasing her around to put her in the room and I don't want to forget and leave her in there in my hurry to get out of the house.

*sigh* I know this is so long but I just don't know what to do about these cats. Part of me wants to try to find another home for them where they can't hurt Evan or another little baby. Firefly has never scratched him but that's because she doesn't follow him around and we don't let him near her. But I'm afraid one day I won't be watching and he'll get close to her. And obviously Serenity puts herself right in front of him and follows him everywhere he goes, but will still scratch him if he hurts or scares her.

And then another part thinks we should keep them. We took on a responsibility when we adopted them. They were like our children at one point. They helped me so much when I wanted a baby but couldn't have one. And when I couldn't find a job and was so depressed being in the apartment all day...they gave me something to do and kept me company. And it would be so hard for them to adjust to another place and other people.

So what would you do if you had a mean cat that could possibly do a lot of damage to your baby and a bad cat that tears up your furniture and scratches your baby on a daily basis??

Babies *UPDATED

I have to congratulate a lot of ladies on Blogger! I don't think I can even remember them all.... so if I miss you just let me know. :-)

Congratulations to Annie Marie who had her beautiful little girl a month ago! No pictures yet, but the baby has a beautiful name. Go check it out and congratulate the mommy!

Nyteslight found out she's having a girl this July! She found out awhile ago, but I don't think I recognized it on here. She also doesn't have internet at her new apartment, so I'm anxious about how I'm going to find out when she has her daughter!

Stacey found out she is expecting a little girl as well!! I can't wait until September to "meet" her!!

Any day now I'll be congratulating Wife on the arrival of her son.... she is 39 weeks along.

**UPDATED: I knew I was leaving someone out! Alyssa is pregnant with her second baby! She's due in January 2011, but will be induced sometime in December. :-) I'm so happy for her and am excited that she is going to have 2 kids so close together!

9 Month Appointment

Evan just had his 9 month appointment today although at this point he's closer to 10 months old than 9! His doctor, Dr. S, is SOOOOO busy. He's definitely the busiest doctor at the office we visit. I kind of wish we had gone with another doctor from the beginning, but Dr. S is really nice and great with Evan, so we'll stick with him. We can always see him at well visits (just not always "on time") and thankfully Evan hasn't had many sick visits.

They didn't do any shots at this visit, but they did prick his finger and collect blood to test iron levels. Evan didn't flinch at all! I don't know if he couldn't feel it or what, but he stayed very still while the nurse collected the blood. Such a sweetie! Everything looks great, I have a perfectly healthy son at this point. :-)

Weight: 18 lbs, 15 oz (25%)

Height: 29 inches (75%)

Head cir: 18.5 inches (90%)

Dr. S confirmed that Evan can eat anything as long as Matt and I aren't allergic to it. That includes egg whites, which is good since I just scrambled eggs for Evan this morning and didn't separate the whites. ;-) Also my mom scrambled an entire egg for him a couple of weeks ago. My goal for myself and for Evan is to eat fish once a week. We ate a lot in New Orleans and since coming home we've done mahi mahi and tuna. I bought some sea perch today. Never had it, but I figure I'll buy whatever's on sale at the grocery store and we'll try some new things. Any suggestions on good fish or good ways to cook fish (especially perch, since that's what I have right now!)? I know i personally love tilapia with mango salsa -- yum!! I've never made it, but I'm planning on getting around to it one of these days.

Dr. S also talked about weaning Evan. He said anytime after 10 months I can just start giving him whole milk instead of nursing him. Crazy that I'm so close!! I'm planning on waiting until he's a year old, then I will start weaning. Hopefully I can get him to take milk in a sippy cup instead of bottle at that point. I think he'll wean really well. I know not all babies adjust so well, but Evan doesn't have a lot of interest in nursing. I actually think he prefers not to, but too bad. ;-) At this point I'm only giving him a bottle of breast milk in the afternoon or evening after he's nursed as a supplement.

Evan has been waking up in the middle of the night since coming home from New Orleans. He actually wakes up at about 5:30 - 6:30. I've been feeding him because I thought maybe he was hungry. But it's getting old and I don't think he's waking up hungry...I think it's just becoming a habit. I talked to the doctor and he thinks the same thing and said I probably shouldn't keep feeding him because it'll get to be a habit. So in the morning I am not going to feed him. I'll let him cry for 20 minutes then I'll go in and rock him and put him back down. Of course this is the night Matt is out of town, but I want to fix this ASAP. He's been such a great nighttime sleeper since he was 7 weeks old with the exception of growth spurts or traveling. I think being in NO for so long threw him off and that's why he started waking up.

Speaking of traveling, we're going to Asheville next week (over Father's Day weekend) along with my family to visit my brother. Then next month Evan and I will be flying out to San Diego, CA to meet Matt and have a little vacation!! It'll be Evan's first time flying and I'm nervous and excited that I'll be taking him on the plane by myself. Matt will be in San Diego all week for business and I'll meet up with him on a Thursday so we can spend the weekend there. I'm so excited!!

9 Months Old

It's AMAZING how much he's changed since turning 9 months! It seemed like a lot of stuff happened during month 7, but month 9 is also turning into a big month.

Let's see if I can even begin to recount what's been going on with Evan......

*He kissed me for the first time while we were in New

Orleans. He had slept part of the night on the bed with Matt and me. When he woke up in the morning he crawled over to me, crawled up on me, and gave me a sloppy kiss. SO SWEET!

*he started saying "Mama" -- meaning ME!! He turned from him saying it when he only wanted me (which was when he was tired or hungry) to now saying it every time he wants something. Whether that's food, a toy, or something he isn't supposed to have.

*He started saying "hey." I think he started saying this around the same time as "Mama," while we were in New Orleans. It might have even been before. I didn't realize that's what he was saying at first.

*He started crawling on his hands and knees - fast. He had mostly been doing the army crawl, only crawling on his hands and knees a little and not far before he'd fall. But after returning home from NO he was crawling like a pro!

*He started "playing" with Serenity (our cat). She actually loves the attention. She'll plop down right in front of him and he'll grab a fistful of hair and pull. She'll get up, turn around, and plop right back down in front of him. If she's walking near him he'll start chasing her. The other day I walked in the room and he was completely on top of her. Yep, she's scratched him twice (on the hand). You'd think they'd both learn a lesson, but so far neither has.

*He started pulling up onto his knees.

*He started going from his belly (or crawling) to a sitting position. Before he could go from sitting to crawling, but not crawling to sitting/pulling up.

*He started pulling up to a standing position.

And my absolute favorite.......

*He started waving and saying "bye bye"!!!!!!!! My mom and sister heard him the first time. We were visiting my grandparents and they went into the house to bring him out to the car so we could go to the beach. They told him to say goodbye to my grandparents and as they were walking out the door he waved and said "bye bye." They told me when they came out to the car and I figured they had misunderstood or were exaggerating. But when we were at the beach I was sitting with Evan on a picnic table. I was feeding him, but he was distracted by the birds and people around us. He started watching a family walk out to their car. There was a little girl in a bright yellow dress trailing behind the rest of the family members. Evan lifted his hand and started flapping his fingers. I thought he was acting different...concentrating very hard. He held still except for his fingers and suddenly he said, clear as day, "bye bye." There was no mistaking it! It still amazes me just remembering it! He was watching the little girl as he did it.

2 years

Saturday the 29th was the second anniversary of our miscarriage. I'm so sad that nobody remembers our baby anymore. I don't mean that I expect friends to remember. And I don't even expect our family to say or do anything. But it's just that I could tell they didn't even have an idea that it was the 29th, 2 years since we lost our first baby. I don't think Matt remembered. It just makes me sad that it seems I'm the only one to think about it. I didn't want to spend the day moping or being depressed, but it was hard not to. I knew we were going over to my parents' house that evening and I was prepared for that. But I wasn't prepared to entertain my brother and sister all day for lunch and the rest of the afternoon. I had wanted them to come by to pick up the chaise lounge my sister is taking, but I didn't mean come to hang out for so long! Matt asked them to come a lot sooner than I had wanted them to. It was just hard to entertain while also being so sad.

I still feel bitter and sad and angry about it 2 years later. Maybe those who have lost a loved one or a child will understand. I remember my first baby every day. I have a box with the positive pregnancy tests (which, when I looked the other day, still looked the exact same as they did when I put them in there), pictures of us the day we found out about the pregnancy (5/18/08), and print outs of my blog posts about the pregnancy (not posts about the m/c). There's also a list of the names I'd started making after finding out about the pregnancy. Anyway, I feel like I'm keeping this stuff...and it's for nothing. Like, that little baby will never grow up and I'll say, "Here's this box...I was thinking of you even when you were still inside me. This is the story of how we found out we were going to have you..." I'm just so sorry for my baby. That he/she ended up with me...and look what happened.

I'm so disappointed in the people I know. That they can treat a miscarriage so flippantly. If I had had an abortion they would have been upset and there may have been tears and it would have been the death of a baby. But an early miscarriage at the same time? No big deal. The only emotions were them feeling a little sorry for me for about 5 minutes of the day, and then it was "get over it." I'm most angry at my in-laws' reactions. I still am. For those of you who were reading 2 years ago you may remember that the first time I saw my in-laws after the m/c they treated me horribly. We're having a different problem with them now and that makes the anniversary of our miscarriage even worse. They didn't care about our first baby, they didn't care that it took so many months of loneliness to conceive another baby, and now the worst thing is that they don't care about Evan.

Last year I think I was more positive. Grief comes in waves, sometimes it's easier to accept what happened than others. Sometimes I can mask it or pretend to be positive. But right now I don't feel like putting on an act. I feel like expressing my grief about my loss and my anger at the people who should have been supportive but chose not to be.

NOLA

I loved New Orleans! We had such a good time on our trip and Evan was great (in spite of the fact that his second tooth broke through the morning we left).

We left on Friday the 14th and arrived late that night at our friend's dad's house. We spent the night there and attended her graduation the next morning. Yep, Evan sat through the whole graduation and was such a sweetie. The only time he made any noise was he cried twice because the ladies behind us kept shrieking and yelling and it scared him. Which, by the way, I find

very disrespectful. It didn't bother me quite as much at this graduation because overall people

were more mature and considerate (we just happened to sit in front of some of the ones who weren't), but at my brother's graduation it was much worse and it makes me angry that some people don't get to hear their loved one's name announced because the people around them are

acting like drunk rednecks at a sporting event.

After her graduation we spent the day at her reception and then Matt, Evan, and I went to stay in a hotel that night. The next day (Sunday) we went to our first crawfish boil. It was SO fun!! I didn't know what to expect since I've only ever eaten crawfish in a pasta dish once before. You boil crawfish alive like you do lobsters and so they had buckets of live crawfish when we got there. They put them in a huge pot over a cooker along with potatoes, mushrooms, lemons, and spices. Christine's family served them on large trays on the picnic tables outside and taught us how to crack them open to get to the meat. Just thinking of it makes me want some!!! I wish they sold crawfish around here. It was messy, but SO worth it. :-)

We swam in the pool - the first time in years I've been in a full sized pool and the very first time for Evan! He loved it. I took him out at one point because the sun went behind a cloud and I saw him shivering. I sat on the pool deck with him wrapped in a towel and he spent the whole time trying to get back into the pool! Christine's aunt took him back in the pool and he was giggling and laughing. :-)

We went to New Orleans on Monday and spent the evening walking around and going out for dinner. Once again, Evan was SO well behaved! We ended up going to a fancy restaurant (the manager came out while we were standing outside

talking about what to do and convinced us to eat there). I was really nervous about Evan being there, but he was better behaved than half the adults in there!

Tuesday we went to the aquarium and I'm so glad we did! Evan's favorite thing there were the jellyfish by far. LOVED them. He kept trying to grab them. lol My favorite thing was the otter. Or the penguins. Or the seahorses. Or petting the stingrays. I can't decide!

That night Christine's mom came to the hotel to watch Evan while we went out to dinner, to Bourbon Street, and then the casino. It was so nice of her to volunteer to do that. I didn't expect anyone to do that and didn't expect to get to go to Bourbon St or to the casino. I actually think I was doing her mom a favor. lol Her entire family LOVED Evan and I was actually a little afraid one of them would run off with him. ;-)

Wednesday we went to the WWII museum and the Riverwalk. I ate my first po-boy. Fried catfish on french bread in a sandwich. They also come in shrimp, oysters, and...I can't remember, but I think some other type of seafood. Our hotel overlooked the river and we could see the steamboats. So beautiful!!

Thursday we went to Jackson Square and saw the St Louis cathedral. We walked around all day stopping at restaurants and going into shops. We went back to the Riverwalk to Cafe du Monde and ate beignets (DELICIOUS!). New Orleans is beautiful! I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. My dad has been twice on business and hated it (of course, his company put him in a hotel on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras....not his thing at all, lol).

That evening we headed back to Christine's hometown and stopped at a snowball stand. Once again, something that is SO GOOD that they don't have in NC. Evan tried some of our snowballs and he loved them too. :-)

Friday we headed to Mississippi to visit Christine's grandmother. We had met her at the graduation and she loved loved loved Evan. So we stayed the night at her house. Sure enough, she was trying to steal Evan away. She even wanted him to sleep in her bed with her! lol That night was a little rough, I think at that point he'd had enough. Thankfully he waited until he was in bed to lose it so he didn't "ruin" our visit with Christine's grandparents since we'd been there several hours at that point.

Then we headed back home. The trip home was rough. Evan was fussy the entire time. The next day he woke up with a cold. I think the week wore him out. I'm grateful that he was so good while we were there though. He's such a great traveler!

Anyway, next I'm going to post a 9 month description of Evan. He's changing SO MUCH!