Babies *UPDATED

I have to congratulate a lot of ladies on Blogger! I don't think I can even remember them all.... so if I miss you just let me know. :-)

Congratulations to Annie Marie who had her beautiful little girl a month ago! No pictures yet, but the baby has a beautiful name. Go check it out and congratulate the mommy!

Nyteslight found out she's having a girl this July! She found out awhile ago, but I don't think I recognized it on here. She also doesn't have internet at her new apartment, so I'm anxious about how I'm going to find out when she has her daughter!

Stacey found out she is expecting a little girl as well!! I can't wait until September to "meet" her!!

Any day now I'll be congratulating Wife on the arrival of her son.... she is 39 weeks along.

**UPDATED: I knew I was leaving someone out! Alyssa is pregnant with her second baby! She's due in January 2011, but will be induced sometime in December. :-) I'm so happy for her and am excited that she is going to have 2 kids so close together!

9 Month Appointment

Evan just had his 9 month appointment today although at this point he's closer to 10 months old than 9! His doctor, Dr. S, is SOOOOO busy. He's definitely the busiest doctor at the office we visit. I kind of wish we had gone with another doctor from the beginning, but Dr. S is really nice and great with Evan, so we'll stick with him. We can always see him at well visits (just not always "on time") and thankfully Evan hasn't had many sick visits.

They didn't do any shots at this visit, but they did prick his finger and collect blood to test iron levels. Evan didn't flinch at all! I don't know if he couldn't feel it or what, but he stayed very still while the nurse collected the blood. Such a sweetie! Everything looks great, I have a perfectly healthy son at this point. :-)

Weight: 18 lbs, 15 oz (25%)

Height: 29 inches (75%)

Head cir: 18.5 inches (90%)

Dr. S confirmed that Evan can eat anything as long as Matt and I aren't allergic to it. That includes egg whites, which is good since I just scrambled eggs for Evan this morning and didn't separate the whites. ;-) Also my mom scrambled an entire egg for him a couple of weeks ago. My goal for myself and for Evan is to eat fish once a week. We ate a lot in New Orleans and since coming home we've done mahi mahi and tuna. I bought some sea perch today. Never had it, but I figure I'll buy whatever's on sale at the grocery store and we'll try some new things. Any suggestions on good fish or good ways to cook fish (especially perch, since that's what I have right now!)? I know i personally love tilapia with mango salsa -- yum!! I've never made it, but I'm planning on getting around to it one of these days.

Dr. S also talked about weaning Evan. He said anytime after 10 months I can just start giving him whole milk instead of nursing him. Crazy that I'm so close!! I'm planning on waiting until he's a year old, then I will start weaning. Hopefully I can get him to take milk in a sippy cup instead of bottle at that point. I think he'll wean really well. I know not all babies adjust so well, but Evan doesn't have a lot of interest in nursing. I actually think he prefers not to, but too bad. ;-) At this point I'm only giving him a bottle of breast milk in the afternoon or evening after he's nursed as a supplement.

Evan has been waking up in the middle of the night since coming home from New Orleans. He actually wakes up at about 5:30 - 6:30. I've been feeding him because I thought maybe he was hungry. But it's getting old and I don't think he's waking up hungry...I think it's just becoming a habit. I talked to the doctor and he thinks the same thing and said I probably shouldn't keep feeding him because it'll get to be a habit. So in the morning I am not going to feed him. I'll let him cry for 20 minutes then I'll go in and rock him and put him back down. Of course this is the night Matt is out of town, but I want to fix this ASAP. He's been such a great nighttime sleeper since he was 7 weeks old with the exception of growth spurts or traveling. I think being in NO for so long threw him off and that's why he started waking up.

Speaking of traveling, we're going to Asheville next week (over Father's Day weekend) along with my family to visit my brother. Then next month Evan and I will be flying out to San Diego, CA to meet Matt and have a little vacation!! It'll be Evan's first time flying and I'm nervous and excited that I'll be taking him on the plane by myself. Matt will be in San Diego all week for business and I'll meet up with him on a Thursday so we can spend the weekend there. I'm so excited!!

9 Months Old

It's AMAZING how much he's changed since turning 9 months! It seemed like a lot of stuff happened during month 7, but month 9 is also turning into a big month.

Let's see if I can even begin to recount what's been going on with Evan......

*He kissed me for the first time while we were in New

Orleans. He had slept part of the night on the bed with Matt and me. When he woke up in the morning he crawled over to me, crawled up on me, and gave me a sloppy kiss. SO SWEET!

*he started saying "Mama" -- meaning ME!! He turned from him saying it when he only wanted me (which was when he was tired or hungry) to now saying it every time he wants something. Whether that's food, a toy, or something he isn't supposed to have.

*He started saying "hey." I think he started saying this around the same time as "Mama," while we were in New Orleans. It might have even been before. I didn't realize that's what he was saying at first.

*He started crawling on his hands and knees - fast. He had mostly been doing the army crawl, only crawling on his hands and knees a little and not far before he'd fall. But after returning home from NO he was crawling like a pro!

*He started "playing" with Serenity (our cat). She actually loves the attention. She'll plop down right in front of him and he'll grab a fistful of hair and pull. She'll get up, turn around, and plop right back down in front of him. If she's walking near him he'll start chasing her. The other day I walked in the room and he was completely on top of her. Yep, she's scratched him twice (on the hand). You'd think they'd both learn a lesson, but so far neither has.

*He started pulling up onto his knees.

*He started going from his belly (or crawling) to a sitting position. Before he could go from sitting to crawling, but not crawling to sitting/pulling up.

*He started pulling up to a standing position.

And my absolute favorite.......

*He started waving and saying "bye bye"!!!!!!!! My mom and sister heard him the first time. We were visiting my grandparents and they went into the house to bring him out to the car so we could go to the beach. They told him to say goodbye to my grandparents and as they were walking out the door he waved and said "bye bye." They told me when they came out to the car and I figured they had misunderstood or were exaggerating. But when we were at the beach I was sitting with Evan on a picnic table. I was feeding him, but he was distracted by the birds and people around us. He started watching a family walk out to their car. There was a little girl in a bright yellow dress trailing behind the rest of the family members. Evan lifted his hand and started flapping his fingers. I thought he was acting different...concentrating very hard. He held still except for his fingers and suddenly he said, clear as day, "bye bye." There was no mistaking it! It still amazes me just remembering it! He was watching the little girl as he did it.

2 years

Saturday the 29th was the second anniversary of our miscarriage. I'm so sad that nobody remembers our baby anymore. I don't mean that I expect friends to remember. And I don't even expect our family to say or do anything. But it's just that I could tell they didn't even have an idea that it was the 29th, 2 years since we lost our first baby. I don't think Matt remembered. It just makes me sad that it seems I'm the only one to think about it. I didn't want to spend the day moping or being depressed, but it was hard not to. I knew we were going over to my parents' house that evening and I was prepared for that. But I wasn't prepared to entertain my brother and sister all day for lunch and the rest of the afternoon. I had wanted them to come by to pick up the chaise lounge my sister is taking, but I didn't mean come to hang out for so long! Matt asked them to come a lot sooner than I had wanted them to. It was just hard to entertain while also being so sad.

I still feel bitter and sad and angry about it 2 years later. Maybe those who have lost a loved one or a child will understand. I remember my first baby every day. I have a box with the positive pregnancy tests (which, when I looked the other day, still looked the exact same as they did when I put them in there), pictures of us the day we found out about the pregnancy (5/18/08), and print outs of my blog posts about the pregnancy (not posts about the m/c). There's also a list of the names I'd started making after finding out about the pregnancy. Anyway, I feel like I'm keeping this stuff...and it's for nothing. Like, that little baby will never grow up and I'll say, "Here's this box...I was thinking of you even when you were still inside me. This is the story of how we found out we were going to have you..." I'm just so sorry for my baby. That he/she ended up with me...and look what happened.

I'm so disappointed in the people I know. That they can treat a miscarriage so flippantly. If I had had an abortion they would have been upset and there may have been tears and it would have been the death of a baby. But an early miscarriage at the same time? No big deal. The only emotions were them feeling a little sorry for me for about 5 minutes of the day, and then it was "get over it." I'm most angry at my in-laws' reactions. I still am. For those of you who were reading 2 years ago you may remember that the first time I saw my in-laws after the m/c they treated me horribly. We're having a different problem with them now and that makes the anniversary of our miscarriage even worse. They didn't care about our first baby, they didn't care that it took so many months of loneliness to conceive another baby, and now the worst thing is that they don't care about Evan.

Last year I think I was more positive. Grief comes in waves, sometimes it's easier to accept what happened than others. Sometimes I can mask it or pretend to be positive. But right now I don't feel like putting on an act. I feel like expressing my grief about my loss and my anger at the people who should have been supportive but chose not to be.

NOLA

I loved New Orleans! We had such a good time on our trip and Evan was great (in spite of the fact that his second tooth broke through the morning we left).

We left on Friday the 14th and arrived late that night at our friend's dad's house. We spent the night there and attended her graduation the next morning. Yep, Evan sat through the whole graduation and was such a sweetie. The only time he made any noise was he cried twice because the ladies behind us kept shrieking and yelling and it scared him. Which, by the way, I find

very disrespectful. It didn't bother me quite as much at this graduation because overall people

were more mature and considerate (we just happened to sit in front of some of the ones who weren't), but at my brother's graduation it was much worse and it makes me angry that some people don't get to hear their loved one's name announced because the people around them are

acting like drunk rednecks at a sporting event.

After her graduation we spent the day at her reception and then Matt, Evan, and I went to stay in a hotel that night. The next day (Sunday) we went to our first crawfish boil. It was SO fun!! I didn't know what to expect since I've only ever eaten crawfish in a pasta dish once before. You boil crawfish alive like you do lobsters and so they had buckets of live crawfish when we got there. They put them in a huge pot over a cooker along with potatoes, mushrooms, lemons, and spices. Christine's family served them on large trays on the picnic tables outside and taught us how to crack them open to get to the meat. Just thinking of it makes me want some!!! I wish they sold crawfish around here. It was messy, but SO worth it. :-)

We swam in the pool - the first time in years I've been in a full sized pool and the very first time for Evan! He loved it. I took him out at one point because the sun went behind a cloud and I saw him shivering. I sat on the pool deck with him wrapped in a towel and he spent the whole time trying to get back into the pool! Christine's aunt took him back in the pool and he was giggling and laughing. :-)

We went to New Orleans on Monday and spent the evening walking around and going out for dinner. Once again, Evan was SO well behaved! We ended up going to a fancy restaurant (the manager came out while we were standing outside

talking about what to do and convinced us to eat there). I was really nervous about Evan being there, but he was better behaved than half the adults in there!

Tuesday we went to the aquarium and I'm so glad we did! Evan's favorite thing there were the jellyfish by far. LOVED them. He kept trying to grab them. lol My favorite thing was the otter. Or the penguins. Or the seahorses. Or petting the stingrays. I can't decide!

That night Christine's mom came to the hotel to watch Evan while we went out to dinner, to Bourbon Street, and then the casino. It was so nice of her to volunteer to do that. I didn't expect anyone to do that and didn't expect to get to go to Bourbon St or to the casino. I actually think I was doing her mom a favor. lol Her entire family LOVED Evan and I was actually a little afraid one of them would run off with him. ;-)

Wednesday we went to the WWII museum and the Riverwalk. I ate my first po-boy. Fried catfish on french bread in a sandwich. They also come in shrimp, oysters, and...I can't remember, but I think some other type of seafood. Our hotel overlooked the river and we could see the steamboats. So beautiful!!

Thursday we went to Jackson Square and saw the St Louis cathedral. We walked around all day stopping at restaurants and going into shops. We went back to the Riverwalk to Cafe du Monde and ate beignets (DELICIOUS!). New Orleans is beautiful! I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. My dad has been twice on business and hated it (of course, his company put him in a hotel on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras....not his thing at all, lol).

That evening we headed back to Christine's hometown and stopped at a snowball stand. Once again, something that is SO GOOD that they don't have in NC. Evan tried some of our snowballs and he loved them too. :-)

Friday we headed to Mississippi to visit Christine's grandmother. We had met her at the graduation and she loved loved loved Evan. So we stayed the night at her house. Sure enough, she was trying to steal Evan away. She even wanted him to sleep in her bed with her! lol That night was a little rough, I think at that point he'd had enough. Thankfully he waited until he was in bed to lose it so he didn't "ruin" our visit with Christine's grandparents since we'd been there several hours at that point.

Then we headed back home. The trip home was rough. Evan was fussy the entire time. The next day he woke up with a cold. I think the week wore him out. I'm grateful that he was so good while we were there though. He's such a great traveler!

Anyway, next I'm going to post a 9 month description of Evan. He's changing SO MUCH!

Adios

We're going to New Orleans for 8 days! We're leaving Friday afternoon. I'm kind of nervous about being gone for so long. Hoping that Evan will continue to nurse well and won't start teething. The past 2 days he has whined and whined all day. Yesterday I stayed home all day since I wasn't feeling well (allergies) and today we didn't go out or do much in the afternoon, just a chiropractor appointment in the morning. I don't know if he was just bored or if he's teething or what, but I'm afraid it might be teething.

I am glad to spend so much time together as a family though. It will be great for Matt and Evan to spend so much time together!

Mama

Thanks for all of the supportive comments on my last post!!! I made a visit to the vitamin store last week and bought fenugreek. Haven't bought any of the mother's tea or anything, but I plan to. Have been eating oatmeal every day (I usually do that anyway) and trying my hardest to drink a lot of water.

AND today was the first day Evan has nursed every feeding time since his tooth broke through 3 weeks ago!!! I still gave him a bottle of breast milk after his last feeding, but at least he nursed!!! I'm SO SO SO glad! I'm just amazed at how well we're doing. I can't believe I was that close to quitting. I really was. I had made the decision to wean him. But after writing that last post I realized how much I wanted to keep trying. So I decided to give it one more chance.

My letdown is happening quicker now and I think Evan has realized it will happen if he just gives it a minute or so. I'm still afraid we'll have more problems next time a tooth breaks through or something, but at least my letdown is better and I'm having much more success pumping, which is encouraging.

Yesterday was Mother's Day and it was great. :-) I still felt a little melancholy though. I just feel bad for all of the women who are excluded. And it was a little confusing when people told me "happy first Mother's Day." I was a mother last year. I was pregnant with Evan and if I hadn't lost my first baby I would have had a 3-4 month old baby by the time Mother's Day came around. Like I posted last year, I feel like women who have had miscarriages/struggle with IF are still mothers.

Plus the situation with the in-laws as escalated to the point where Matt called MIL to talk again (he had this same discussion with her in November and it made no difference), but I think this time he was a little firmer. She says she feels bad and asked what she can do to make it better. And we don't know how she can make it better. If she hasn't wanted to be a part of Evan's life up to now, why would that be any different now? Anyway, she called me twice on Saturday to talk, but both times I didn't get her call (I didn't do it on purpose though!). I really should have called her back today, but didn't feel like getting into it all. But it kind of put a little damper on Mother's Day. I think MIL was expecting us to come over for a cookout and stuff. And I just don't get why she's the only one attempting to make things better. FIL just gets off...like he hasn't done anything. *sigh* oh well!!! On to happier things........

Anyway, when I wasn't taking care of the baby (Matt parked at church in the morning and then did some grocery shopping in the evening), I was able to relax and nap a little bit in the morning. We all went to a park down the road in the early evening. It was a gorgeous day and perfect for doing some light hiking on the trails. When we came home Matt cooked burgers on our new grill...it was the first time we've used it. They were delicious!! Evan gave me a card that is adorable and is now sitting on top of the TV. It might just stay there forever. :-) The best gift was Matt folding the laundry, doing the dishes, and cleaning the house. And all of those things are already piling up again. lol


I'm so excited that I'm a mama! I absolutely love it. :-) Evan is such a sweetheart and he's cracking me up these days with how active and quick he is. He's still pretty laid back compared to many babies his age, but he's changing so much. He never ceases to amaze me with how he can change from one day to the next.