Peek-a-Boo!

My mom bought THIS book for Evan for Valentine's Day! So cute. :-)

heart

So it's Valentine's this weekend and on Monday it's Matt's birthday! We don't have anything major planned at this point. We'll probably go out to dinner on Monday to celebrate both occasions. I want to go to a Japanese steakhouse like we did last year, but it's not the best place to bring a baby, so we might choose another place. We'll see! Matt has Monday off of work, so I think we should do something special and fun as a family during the day, but I don't know what. Too bad it's supposed to rain that day!

What do you have planned for Valentine's Day?

I remember the year I started dating Matt...I was SO depressed on Valentine's Day (it was before we started our relationship). I thought he liked a friend of mine and I definitely didn't think he liked me "in that way."

I had had a crush on him for months, since October 2001. We had been friends for several months (I met him when I was 9 years old, but we didn't get to be friends until I was 15). My friend's mom saw him from a distance and said, "who is that young man? He's pretty good looking!" I laughed out loud automatically, like, "Matt!? Good looking!?" And then I realized....he is good looking. And nice. And funny. I thought, "oh gosh, I think I have a crush on Matt!"

Then just before Christmas 2001 I went Christmas shopping with him and some friends. I left my purse in his car when he dropped me off (it really was accidental!). My family was leaving to go to Arkansas the next morning and so I had my dad drive me to his house (I didn't have my license yet!) to pick up my purse. We went in and were talking to Matt and his family and Matt was kneeling on their couch, facing the back. I was standing behind the couch and he looked up at me.... he had the sweetest look on his face. I knew in that moment that I loved him, it wasn't just a crush anymore. It about took my breath away and it was hard not to show my emotions. I had a week of being in Arkansas to think about it. I missed him so much and emailed him as often as I could.

I kept it to myself, but after that I was so miserable and lovesick. I thought for sure he liked a friend of mine, but now looking back I can't really think why I thought he did since he paid more attention to me than he did to her. But on Valentine's I felt bitter and depressed about the situation. I remember telling another friend of mine, "life sucks." haha, so dramatic! I decided that before Matt went to college in the fall I would tell him how I felt.

But then there was the homeschool historic ball...that was my first hint that he liked me. He called me and asked if he could escort me. It was a magical night and the following weeks I felt more and more strongly that he at least had a crush on me. Then on March 24 he asked me to be in a relationship with him. He said he wanted it to result in marriage...it wasn't going to be a shallow thing. I "thought about it" for a couple of days, but of course the answer was yes from the second the words were out of his mouth, but I didn't want to rush into it so I gave it a couple of days to sink in.

Anyway, y'all know the rest. You can go HERE (same link as the "March 24" link above) to read a little more about our relationship and see some pictures! :-)

love/hate

Things I disliked before I was pregnant that I now love:
Milk & Italian food

Weird, huh? After getting pregnant I started craving milk and Italian food (not together!) and it's stuck with me after having Evan.

2 posts in one day..what!?

I started this post referring to "these people," trying not to be specific. When I started the new Christmas in March, I wanted to refrain from complaining about people. I would hate it if someone I know IRL read this and saw me complaining about family members or other people in my life, plus it just drags down the atmosphere of my blog. However, I want to blog about this and I decided to just say who it is. It's not like I'm exposing a secret. "These people" act this way publicly and they know it bothers me, so they shouldn't be surprised if I talk about it on a public blog. This is how I keep in touch with many friends, so I'm just going to go for it...I'm changing "these people" to "in-laws."
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Okay, I know this is the second post of the day! And I only have a limited time before Evan wakes from that tricky late afternoon nap, so you'd think I'd have something better to do like cleaning the house! But I have something on my mind that I just have to get out...

So my in-laws have neglected Evan since he was born. Yep, you heard me right, there's actually 2 people out there who don't like my little boy! It hurts, but the main reason it does is because they like other babies and have another grandson who is a regular part of their lives (they see him several times a week).

I don't expect everyone to like my son. Some people don't like babies and that's fine. One of my granddads (my dad's dad) doesn't like babies. He didn't hold Evan when we visited for Christmas and barely looked at him the whole week. That was fine with me because I knew he was like that with all of his kids and grandkids and any other baby that's crossed his path over the years (yep, it's true, he barely held any of his 3 kids when they were babies and certainly didn't help with feedings, changings, etc!). Now, if my grandpa had been holding another baby that week and ignored Evan...well, I'd be really upset. Who wouldn't be?

When Evan was about 2-3 months old we had a talk with them and told them that it was hurting our feelings that they weren't more involved in Evan's life. Not only were they not bothering to see him in person, they wouldn't call or ask how he was. We invited them over several times, but there gets to be a point where you kind of get the hint when you're never invited back. Also, it's hard to have people in your home (and have to provide dinner) when you have a newborn! Anyway, the excuse they gave was that they "forgot" about Evan and "didn't think" about calling. They said they remembered him when people would ask about their other grandson(??? why weren't they asking about Evan too?), but that by the time they had a chance to call they would forget again. MIL sounded very apologetic and sincere.

Kind of weird, but whatever, I know peoples lives get hectic and both of them work (they find time to do crafts, go hunting, and see the other grandchild several times a week, but oh well). So we start seeing each other more around the beginning of December and I think everything is fine and I'm so happy when we see them and they pay attention to my son. Well, we invited ourselves over there to give them their Christmas presents....and SIL invited us to their house for a birthday party for FIL at the beginning of January....we also saw them the first week of January at another relative's house...and that's it. It's been over a month since we've seen them and like I said, they haven't even invited us over since before Christmas (oh yeah, we live about 40 minutes away which is not far for people in the area to travel since that's how far they have to drive to get to stores and restaurants).

We invited them over a couple of weeks ago...called twice to try to set it up. They didn't commit to visiting the first time we called and when we called back they said they were sick. However, they didn't seem interested in rescheduling and never called to try to get together again (although I think Matt has talked to FIL at least once since then). I know they aren't still sick because they have seen the other kid several times since then (i keep up with SIL on facebook).

It blows my mind that anyone could be this way. Especially after we talked to them and told them that their behavior bothered us and they apologized for it!! I told my parents about the situation and they had a theory that basically the in-laws resent Evan for a variety of reasons. It makes sense (I won't go into the details of that), but who can know for sure. I want Matt to talk to them, but he's hesitating to do it again. And it's kind of understandable. I mean, what can they possibly say? It really makes no difference why they are doing this. It doesn't change anything.

Anyway, the reason this is on my mind even more today is that my mom called and said MIL is going to call me about something. My mom thought she'd already called which is why she brought it up. When I said I hadn't heard from her, my mom just told me that MIL has an idea that she wants to talk to me about. MIL talked to my mom about it on Sunday. Mom told me that if MIL doesn't call by Friday she'll go ahead and tell me what it's all about so that I'm not in the dark. I talked to my sister and she also asked if I'd talked to MIL this week. I told her I kind of know what's going on, but that I don't want to know details at this point. Missy said she doesn't think I'm going to be thrilled. I asked if it has something to do with the fact that they are neglecting Evan. She said yes and that she feels that MIL's idea is a lame attempt to make up for the fact that they've pretty much ignored him for 6 months.

Sooooo..... now I'm curious. I also feel like a confrontation is coming up between MIL and me. I've put up with a lot from their family over the years and have never said a word. But this is my son and this is very "in your face." There is no way to excuse their behavior this time around. I wonder if MIL is going to outright say she's making up for all of this, or if she is going to hedge around it. If she tries to avoid it, I wonder if I should let her. I wonder if I should tell her what I think about grandparents who show favoritism and treat one of their grandkids so badly. God says to forgive people, but does that mean that I should let MIL "get away" with all of this without telling her my feelings? Should I let them be a part of Evan's life in the future if that's what they want? I don't feel they deserve that and I feel it would be simpler to separate from them completely. I feel like I've given them so many chances already and that I want to keep my son away from all of the drama. But is that really the right thing...

I don't know what I expect you to say but feel free to vent about your own in-laws (are there other in-laws out there that ignore one of their grandchildren?), to agree with me (of course that's always appreciated, haha!), say what you would do in my situation, and you can even try to offer a reason for their behavior. Please try not to make me feel too horrible for my feelings because it's a touchy subject. It's hard to relate all the details (I could go on even longer!), so even if you think I'm overreacting, keep in mind that there are other reasons why I feel they are neglecting Evan).

Weird

Babies are weird. It's just crazy how many things affect them and change their behaviors!

The past week Evan has been waking up early every morning. Like around 6:30 - 7:30 when his normal wake time is 8:00. He's sleeping all night, just waking early. And he's happy when he wakes up, so I don't think his sleep is being interrupted by anything. So I read up on my Babywise books (I now have the second one too) and all kinds of things can cause him to wake early. It's just ridiculous to try to figure it out! I've decided that it could be caused by his dream feed (that I am still in the process of dropping) or his late afternoon nap. So the past 2 days I decided to try to skip that last nap to see how it goes.

Yesterday afternoon he stayed awake until we drove home from a friend's house. He fell asleep in the car. However, he stayed awake later than usual (until about 5:30) and he did sleep "later" this morning (he woke up at 7:30). Today we were at home all afternoon and I decided to skip that nap. Ha. I am seriously wondering what I'm going to do with him when he really does drop that nap! I'm exhausted. And that's after all of the independent play he did. lol Anyway, he started crying and so I decided he needs a nap.

At this point I'm feeding Evan a little before 9:00 pm every night and then he goes straight to bed. When I get him down to 8:30 (which I'm hoping will be in the next 2 or 3 weeks), I plan on going to a 4 hour schedule (where I feed him every 4 hours instead of every 3.5). Then his last feeding will be at 8:00 pm and he'll go to bed just after.

Oh yeah, and thanks to those of you who commented on my last post and said that babies don't officially choose a hand until 2 - 3 years old! I had thought I heard that somewhere, but wasn't sure. It will be interesting to see if Evan continues to favor his left hand when he starts feeding himself, writing, etc. I'm hoping he really is a lefty like my brother and cousin. :-)

Give me a hand

I had a relapse. :-( I actually got completely better...then got sick all over again! So I'm better again and just hoping it'll last this time!

I just want to say, I think my son is a lefty! I've noticed that he uses his left hand more since he started grabbing things somewhere between 2 and 3 months old, but it's more and more obvious now. I didn't even know that a baby could show a preference at such a young age, but that's what it's looking like with Evan.

The little boy who used to live with us used both of his hands equally until he was close to 2 years old. Then it seemed like he started using his right hand more. So I thought that's how it was with all kids.

What hands do your kids use? Do you know if this is something hereditary or something? The only left handed people in my family is my brother and my cousin (who was the same age as my brother). Everyone else is right handed as far back as anyone in my family can remember. My family always thought it was interesting that the 2 of them were left handed and now here's Evan to join them. :-) Everyone in Matt's family is right handed too although he doesn't know about his extended family.

sick

I was sick all day yesterday. My stomach was a little upset on Tuesday night and in the early hours of Wednesday morning I woke up feeling awful and threw up. I'm so glad Matt was here to help me out!! I was too weak to walk from the bed to the bathroom, so I don't know what I would have done without him to help. I was sick all day yesterday. I had a fever and chills, was VERY weak, and had an upset stomach. Matt worked from home most of the day so I was able to take a nap and relax most of the time.

Today I feel much better, but still very weak. I know I should eat something since I hardly ate anything last night. In a few minutes I'll try to pull myself together and go make something. Matt couldn't work from home today since he's teaching a class at his office.

We are going to visit my grandparents this weekend! I'm very excited about it! We haven't seen them in 4 months. My entire family is going (except my brother who is at school). It's been a long time since we all went to visit my grandparents as a family, so I'm happy about that too. I'm just hoping I'll feel completely well by then!