Schedule

8:00 AM - Wake up & eat
Wake time - During this time I hold him on the couch for a little while, then put him on the floor to play for awhile. I also wash his face, brush his hair, and do any other necessary cleaning like his nose, ears, etc. We do a few minutes of tummy time and sometimes listen to music. I take the most pictures of him during this wake period. I don't have much energy to do anything else. ;-)
9:30 AM - Nap time (If I have time, I take a nap now too)

11:30 AM - Wake up & eat
Wake time - He spends some of this wake period alone while I get ready (wash face, contacts, get dressed) unless I had something to do in the morning and got ready during his first wake time. When he's alone I like to put him under his play gym or in his swing with the mobile on and music playing. He also spends some of this wake time on his blanket on the living room floor and does some tummy time.
1:00 PM - Nap time

3:00 PM - Wake up & eat
Wake time - Once again, he spends most of this wake time on the floor since that's what he loves the most. I try to hold him on the couch and walk him around the house a little bit. If it's nice we'll go on a walk outside with his stroller. This is the best time for visitors since I'm already up and about and he's awake.
4:30 - 5:00 PM - Nap time

6:30 PM - Wake up & eat
Wake time - Daddy is home to entertain baby. He usually spends some of this time on the floor or in his bouncer while we eat and watch some TV unless we eat after 8:00. Put on his sleeping gown just before his nap so that we won't have to wake him up any more than we have to after his last feeding.
8:00 PM - Nap time

10:00 PM - Wake up (kind of) & eat
Immediately goes back to bed and sleeps all night until 8 the next morning!

Obviously this is just a day that I don't go out, which is becoming quite rare. I plan outings around his feeding times and I try to spend some of his wake time at home before going out. I hate to feed him and then put him in his car seat to spend his entire wake time. If it's the beginning of a nap time it's nice because the car will put him to sleep and *hopefully* he'll stay that way when we arrive at our destination (usually if it's in the middle or the beginning of his nap time he will), if it's towards the end he'll wake up and if he falls asleep in the car seat when it isn't his nap time, he'll wake up at our destination and then be really fussy and not go back to sleep.

The next step according to Babywise is to eliminate the "dream feed," our 10:00 PM feeding. However, if we take that out, he'll be down to eating only 4 times a day....which is the step Babywise recommends taking after 4 months old. I guess we are ahead by only eating 5 times a day at this point. So anyway, I'm not sure what to do. It's recommended that they start sleeping 12 hours from 3-4 months and Evan is 3 months and one week old now and is going 10 hours at night. Anyone else run into this same situation? Most of the blogs I've read say that their baby started going to 4 feedings around 7 months...so it seems like 3 months is pretty early compared to what most people do.

This is what I think we will do. Start eliminating the dream feed by feeding him slightly early each night. Like, I will start to do the dream feed at 9:45 PM instead of 10:00 for a couple of nights. Then 9:30, then 9:15, then 9:00, etc, until we reach 8:00 PM. So at some point he will be eating at 6:30 PM and then again at 8:00 (does this mean that he doesn't have any naps in between feedings??). I may keep a 9:00 PM last feeding for a couple of months until he's a little closer to the recommended age for going to 4 feedings. After he's used to going 12 hours we can start the 4 hours between feedings, which would mean only 4 feedings a day.

The problem with the 4 hour schedule is that then Matt will never be able to see Evan awake during the week. He'd have a 4:00 feeding, nap time at around 5:30 or 6:00 and then go to bed right after his 8:00 feeding. Matt usually comes home around 5:45 - 6:00. So he might be able to see Evan just before nap time, but still, it wouldn't be for long. Kind of sad to think about....it's one reason why I haven't even started to eliminate the dream feed yet.

So I have things to figure out and if you know any of the answers to my questions please answer them! And if you have any questions for me I'd be happy to try my best to answer them as well.

Our Babywise Experience

First of all I just want to say, I know that Babywise isn't for every parent and is not for every baby. Secondly, I don't appreciate any negative or unhelpful comments or opinions. If you don't agree with schedules, fine, but this post isn't the time to tell me that. Maybe you tried a schedule and it didn't work or aren't a schedule/routine type of person, that's fine, you can tell me. I just don't want to hear that I'm wrong and you're right, etc. Third, I'm not strictly following Babywise (obviously...Evan still sleeps in our room in his bassinet!). I believe that Babywise has great scheduling guidelines and that with some aspects you can pick and choose what is right for you and your baby. That's what I've done and it's worked great so far.

We started Babywise from "day 1." The first week we didn't worry about a schedule at all, we fed Evan when he was hungry, no more than 3 hours apart during the day and no more than 5 hours at night like his pediatrician told us to do. Unfortunately those first few days he went more than 3 hours several times because of our problems breastfeeding, but he made up for it after that. :-)

The second week we loosely started the schedule. We started out by just trying to get him to stay awake for awhile after he ate. I think that was the most important thing. We also started feeding him every 3 hours during the day (most of the time we had to wake him up and keep waking him up as he ate) and at night would let him go longer (but no more than 5 hours) if he could. We didn't have long wake times, but they gradually got longer and longer each week.

After he was a month old we let him go longer than 5 hours at night if he could. His wake times were about an hour long after he ate. He really started getting into the routine at this point. He would wake up at exactly 3 hours to the minute wanting to eat.

At 6 weeks we went to from 3 hours between feedings to 3.5 hours. The way I knew he was ready to go longer between meals was because I'd have to wake him up to eat almost every time. Babywise says you can go to a 3.5 hour schedule between 5 and 8 weeks and sure enough, that's when Evan was ready.

At exactly 7 weeks old he slept through the night for the first time and has done that almost every night since then except for the week the time changed and for a few days that 7th week (growth spurt). I'm not sure if it was the time change or the fact that I was deviating from the schedule that caused him to start waking up during the night again the week of the time change, but after I got back into the exact schedule he started sleeping all night again!

Helpful things I learned:

• Feeding/naptime at the same time everyday is more important than the time increments. For some reason I was under the impression that feeding every 3.5 hours was the key. So if we accidentally slept late, I'd keep feeding him every 3.5 hours. However, the time is more important. So if you accidentally sleep half an hour late, you should then feed the baby again after 3 hours instead of 3.5 so that it's at the same time as normal. Sometimes if you get way off you can't completely get back on track until 2 feedings, but keep trying to extend or shorten the times between feedings (I usually do this in 30 minute increments) until you get back to your normal times.
  
• It's not imperative that you do things at the same time to the minute. I usually try to do it the same time, but don't mind feeding/nap time 15 minutes before or after the usual time.
• It took about a month to get Evan really into the schedule. Now he knows that wake time is after he eats. Occasionally he'll doze immediately after eating (before I even take him off my breast) and I'll let him for a couple of minutes (usually because I'm reading), but after I change him he's awake and will stay that way at least an hour.
• Evan has to sleep after about an hour and a half or he gets overtired. At the hour and a half mark I put him down for a nap even if he doesn't seem sleepy. I just rock him and walk him around and put his pacifier in until he starts getting drowsy.

Obviously I still have some work to do with the nap times. As far as I know, Babywise doesn't say what to do if your child just doesn't want to nap. Well, it does say to let them cry it out, but so far this hasn't really worked with Evan. I feel uncomfortable with him crying for more than 15 minutes at this point though, so I'll admit I haven't tried it much. But the thing is, he'll usually go to sleep just fine, but wake up after about 30 minutes and fuss. After that he'll only doze while the pacifier is in his mouth, after it falls out he'll start with the thrashing around and fussing again.

Next post I'll write down our schedule at this point and my plans for changing it to exclude the "dream feed" (last feeding of the day) and extend his nighttime sleep and to change his day schedule to eating every 4 hours instead of every 3.5.

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I remember how hard last year was...and now here I am spending my first Thanksgiving with Evan. The holidays can be such a hard time for so many people for many different reasons. It makes my heart ache to think of all the women struggling with infertility, miscarriages, and infant loss. I know it's even harder to face the holidays without a child to share them with. My thoughts are with all of you, I'm praying that you will all find joy in this season.

3 Months Old

Thanks for your encouraging comments on my last post. I was feeling awful and I thought that maybe writing about it would help. And it kind of did. Want to hear something weird? My chiropractor mentioned in passing that he treats some kids for anxiety. I asked how he did that and he said there's a certain adjustment of the mid back that helps anxiety and that he also recommends a special diet to help. I never even thought about natural treatments for anxiety, my doctor just suggested meds that you can't take while pregnant or breastfeeding. I didn't tell my chiro about my anxiety, but maybe I'll bring it up next time. The whole thing seems weird to me though. Thoughts?

Evan is 3 months old! It's amazing how fast time has gone by. I meant to write a special 3 month post on the 23rd, but obviously didn't do that. I also want to write a post about my L&D experience...like more about my thoughts and feelings about it. I've had a lot of time to think about it over the past 3 months and I want to record my thoughts. I also want to write a post on "what to do next time" and my suggestions to people wanting an all natural delivery.

New things with Evan....

• He weighs 13 pounds!
• He's starting to grab things on his own, without me holding them up to his hands.
• The other day he grabbed his rattle and put it in his mouth.
• He's "talking" and smiling all the time!
  
• He shows his recognition of me by smiling. :-) I love it when he smiles at me the first time I see him in the morning!
• He is still sleeping through the night and is doing an awesome job! He rarely wakes up before 8:00 and if he does he goes back to sleep on his own. Also, when he does wake up he'll lay in his bassinet and just coo or move around for a long time before he fusses (usually I get him up to eat before he even gets to that point).
• He's still sleeping in the bassinet, but I think tonight will be his first night in his room.
• He stayed with my mom for many hours on Friday night so I could go to the movies with Matt and a friend for my birthday. My mom gave him a bottle and he did really well all evening. It was the longest I was away from him and I missed him SO MUCH, especially since we ended up sitting next to a girl with a 4 month old boy in the movie. I watched him a lot and missed Evan even more.
  
• I'm starting to figure this child out! He only wants to be held a little while during his wake time, then he wants to be on a blanket on the floor. Then after about an hour to an hour and a half he has to take his nap. He'll usually fuss just a little to let me know it's time. At that point I have to cradle him and walk him around the house, jiggling him a little. Then he'll either calm down enough that I can put him in his bassinet and he'll go to sleep, or he falls asleep while I'm walking him around and then I can put him down.
• He's independent. Like I said, he doesn't like to be held much when he's awake. He likes me to be in the room with him, but not holding him. If I hold him too long while he's awake he'll start squirming and then he'll fuss, then he'll outright start to cry if I don't put him down. Kind of the opposite of a lot of babies.
• So far he doesn't mind strangers, he smiles for other people and doesn't mind them holding him (unless they hold him for too long while he's awake).
• He still doesn't like his naps very much. A lot of times he sleeps great for 30 minutes, then wakes up and either won't go back to sleep or will keep crying every time his pacifier falls out. Some days he hardly sleeps at all. Like yesterday when he only napped for about 45 minutes total the entire day. -- I know there are different opinions on this subject, but what do you do when a baby wakes early in his nap and isn't hungry, but is crying? Let him cry it out, put the pacifier back in, take him out and hold him until he falls asleep again, check him all out to make sure he's clean,etc?
  
• I think he's ready to start eating every 4 hours and only 4 times a day. The book I take guidelines from says there's no rush to do this (and not to do it before 15 weeks), but I think he's ready and I think I'll go ahead and start changing our schedule to fit that next week. It makes me kind of sad to think about nursing less often, but I seriously think he's ready (I often have to wake him to eat and sometimes it's really hard to wake him for the 10:00 feeding) and maybe, just maybe, this will help with the whole napping thing? Of course, that may be why I have to wake him so often, because he doesn't nap for as long as he should. Hmmm... what do you think? Maybe I better work on his nap situation before changing his schedule??

Oh well, that's all for now!

anxiety attacks

They've come back since I had Evan. I feel like I'm falling apart sometimes.

There's a certain situation that keeps popping up that I think triggers them. That situation isn't directly related to Evan, it's a family situation. I don't know if I'd be having them without this other problem, who knows.

I have bad dreams almost every night. A lot of them have to do with Evan. I suppose it's my fears of something happening to him "taking over" at night. I'm not sure it's related to the anxiety attacks, but it does make me wake up feeling sick and upset.

Me

First of all I just want to say that don't want any of you to feel bad about the post I wrote a couple of days ago about parents being negative about parenthood. Also, I don't want any of you to think that what I wrote was due to anything you wrote about in your blogs. I know everyone has bad days and some people have bad weeks (I know I have) and even bad months. You should definitely write about those in your blogs, even if it's to complain. I wasn't upset about parents who have a hard time and aren't always happy about being a mom or dad. I was talking about people who take their own unhappiness/frustration/exhaustion and purposely try to make other (happy) people feel bad. That's different than complaining or even giving needed advice.

Me:
I have mastitis again. I'm feeling much better now that I've been on antibiotics over a week, but a week and a half ago I was suddenly struck with flu symptoms. They came out of the blue, one minute I was fine and the next I felt awful. I had been a little tired all day, but that's not unusual. My mom and I were going to a park since it was such a nice day (and Matt, my dad, and my brother were all in the mountains hiking) and we stopped at her house so I could feed Evan before we went on. While I was feeding him I suddenly felt SO tired. I thought resting awhile would help. I only became more and more tired and soon the weakness hit. I could hardly hold Evan to finish nursing him. He kept crying every time I would take him away, so I thought maybe he wasn't getting enough milk. I don't know if that was the case, but I could hardly stand to start nursing him again because of how horrible I felt. I actually nursed him laying down for awhile. I think he was just fussy or maybe he could sense how I felt because he wasn't swallowing anything most of the time he was "nursing." By the time he finally finished I had a fever and chills. Thankfully my mom was able to take care of Evan all afternoon until Matt came over. I was so afraid I had H1N.1. However, in the evening I noticed my breast was hurting and sure enough, it had red streaks. It was different from last time though, not nearly as painful. Anyway, we finally got the antibiotic prescription worked out with the doctor on call over the weekend. It took several hours, but the antibiotic is working!

I feel tired a lot. I'm not sure if it's normal, but I honestly think that I'm just mentally and emotionally overloaded. I'm getting a normal amount of sleep most days, so I don't think it's just physical. I'm an introvert and the hardest thing about being a mom so far has been being with someone all day long. I know he's just a baby, but it really isn't any different than being with an adult for me. I always get worn out when I hang out with people for more than a couple of hours. The only person who doesn't wear me out is Matt and that's one reason I knew he was "the one" for me. :-) Anyway, I think a lot of my fatigue is simply due to being around another person 24/7. Also, I think about Evan all.the.time. Constantly. Everything goes back to Evan. I think that drains a person!

I love being with Evan and the few times I've gone out without him (and once Matt took him to the grocery store and I stayed home alone) I've been miserable. I'd much rather be with him than without him. But I can't change my nature and so I end up feeling tired. I do welcome Matt's return from work at the end of the day so that he can spend some time with Evan and I don't have to do everything myself.

The good thing about constantly being around another person is that I don't feel any more tired by being around even more people. I've been more social the past 3 months than I have been in my entire life. I'm always getting together with friends or having people over. It's nice to get back in touch with people, I only wish some of them had kids Evan's age!

I've been trying to meet other moms with infants. I visited a MOP.S group a couple of weeks ago. All of the women there were older and had several kids. I did see one or two other young looking moms with kids around Evan's age, but the way this group works is you are assigned to a table. No one at my table is close to my age and all of their kids are already toddlers. Those are the ladies I will be with all the time and there is no other opportunity to meet the other ladies in the group. Matt and I joined a small group at our church, hoping to meet other couples with kids. Once again, all the couples are older and have multiple kids. However, 2 of the couples have babies around Evan's age. I tried talking to the lady whose son is a month younger than Evan, but she kind of blew me off. I can't help but feel that they think we're kids and don't belong in the group. They were nice, but that's just the feeling I get. I'm going to try a different MOP.S group this week to see if I have better luck, then I just might get desperate and start hunting down the young moms I see at the store, chiropractor's office, etc!

Praises

Some more praises are in order!

Joy had her little girl on October 23! Exactly 2 months after Evan's birth day. :-) I'm so excited for her and her family for having their third beautiful baby girl!!

Nyteslight is pregnant! She and I have been friends for years and although we completely lost touch for a couple of years at one point, we're kinda sorta keeping in touch regularly now. :-) I'm so excited for her, I know she's going to be a GREAT mom!

Alyssa had her little girl over a month ago! I can't believe it's gone by so fast! Check out the pictures of her daughter, she's SO CUTE!

Susan had her beautiful baby girl on Sept 25! I love the name she picked out and I'm loving her posts since the birth!

Okay, I feel like I'm missing someone's birth or pregnancy, so if I am let me know! I'm planning on catching up on blogs later this week, but for now I have to get ready to go out!