SIL's friend - bad news *UPDATE

Something went wrong and they are delivering the baby today. It doesn't look like it's going to make it. :-( I don't know any of the details because SIL called Matt to tell him and she was so upset he could hardly understand her. But I just wanted to post now so that if you are reading this you can PRAY for Amanda, her husband, and their little baby! I'll update whenever I hear more.

UPDATE: I haven't heard too much more, but SIL and her family went to visit Amanda and her husband (they live in PA) and I do know for sure that their son didn't make it. :-( It's heartbreaking to hear, I kept hoping for a miracle. It brings back a lot of bad memories of my miscarriage and it's scary to hear yet another painful story of loss, but to them it's not a story of something that happened to someone else, it's their lives. So keep them in your prayers if you think of them. Thanks for keeping up with this and for praying.

Weekend pictures

My brother graduated college on Saturday. We went up to the mountains where his school is located to go to the ceremony. It ended up being a great day for a graduation and after the ceremony we went driving on the Blue Ridge Parkway and stopped at some overlooks to take pictures. We also went to downtown Asheville to eat dinner at a neat grill that had good onion rings!

You can see how all around big I'm getting in this picture, yep, that's a maternity dress. There's a waterfall in the background that you can kind of see:



The girls - Mom, Melissa, and me:


My handsome husband:

A shirt Matt bought for Evan. If you can't tell, it has a robot on it:

SIL's friend

Quick update:

SIL's friend and her baby are okay right now. Her water didn't completely break, she had a rupture. She's 20 weeks along right now and will be on bed rest for 5 more. The plan is to deliver the baby after that at 25 weeks. I'm so relieved to hear that the baby is okay, I was praying that was the case! Now I pray that she and the baby will continue to be safe and although the baby will have to be in NICU for a long time, I hope everything will be okay in the end. If you think of her over the next few weeks say a prayer and I'll let y'all know how it turns out or if anything else comes up between now and the delivery.

23 Weeks

Time is really flying by! Evan is still the size of a papaya and weighs just over one pound. Twice in the past 2 days he's kicked me really hard, it really surprises me! If I had been looking at my stomach those times I probably would have seen it from the outside. I'm hoping that if I get pregnant again I won't have an anterior placenta so that I will be able to feel more kicks and movement. I only felt 2 flutters and just think about how many of his kicks and movements I can't feel because they aren't strong enough to get through the placenta. It's weird to think that I could be feeling him even more! It's funny because to me this is normal, but then I think, actually I could be feeling him so much more and could have felt all those little flutters that most women feel for awhile before the kicks start.

Matt is out of town again. He's been traveling a lot the past month. Every week actually, even last week after we arrived home from Boston. Next week he won't be traveling on business, but we're going to the beach with his family on Thursday. His family will be there the whole week, but my mom, Matt, and I will be going up Thursday evening and staying until sometime on Saturday. It was really nice of his parents to invite my family. Unfortunately my dad won't be able to make it since he's traveling on business, but my mom is coming along. My sister might be, but she's missed a lot of school the past year and "doesn't want to miss another day." I actually think that she wants to stay at home alone because she has more absences she could use and she's already admitted that they aren't doing much in school since they only have a couple of more weeks. She has a boyfriend that she stays out late with and spends every spare moment hanging out with and I have a feeling she'll be with him quite a bit while the house is empty and everyone is gone.

When I was in high school and dating Matt my parents were so strict. I had a 10:00 curfew when I was Melissa's age and the few times I was left alone at night I was too nervous to actually stay out past curfew or have Matt over! Now I wish I had gone ahead and done what I wanted, it's actually really sad how much I wanted to please my parents. Melissa gets away with everything, she goes out late at night with her boyfriend all the time, sometimes even until 2 in the morning and my parents don't care at all. It's frustrating to think of all the stress I could have avoided when I lived at home if I hadn't cared so much about what my parents thought. My sister figured out a long time ago that she should just do what she wants and not care too much because things are the way they are with my parents. Of course, she doesn't get punished when she breaks the rules and I'm sure I would have, so it is different.

I think it's good for parents to be strict and I don't plan on letting my future kids stay out all night with other kids I don't know, but I also don't want to put a lot of pressure on them to where they always strive for my approval and are so disappointed when they grow up and look back and realized they didn't get it even after everything they did right. If I set standards for one child I want to keep those standards for all of my kids and I want to show them my approval and let them know that I appreciate it when they respect the rules I set. I don't want to make them feel like they are going to lose something important if they break the rules sometimes. It must be harder than it looks not to have a favorite child because I know so many families where that's the case (including mine), but I don't want to play favorites either. It's crushing to work so hard and then have another sibling still be the "best" when they don't bother to follow rules or respect guidelines. There's a book called Growing Up Firstborn that I skimmed through a couple of years ago and I was amazed at how well it described my life. I was also happy to see that the author (I can't remember his name) understood that it's important for parents not to put too much pressure on the oldest child, especially without rewarding them in some way. I'm planning on reading that book again before Evan is born and having Matt read it too.

Anyway! As if that wasn't a serious enough topic, Matt and I received some bad news today. My SIL's best friend, whose baby is due a few weeks after Evan, was rushed to the hospital this morning when her water broke. We haven't heard any other news. I'm not sure what that means exactly, I have no clue if there's anything that can be done to save the baby, but I know that it's serious. So if you have a moment, please pray for her. I feel just awful because even though I've never been introduced to her, I feel a kinship with her since we have babies due so close together. Plus I know it must be rough on SIL and her husband (SIL's friend's husband is SIL's husband's best friend too...confused?). Matt was afraid to tell me the news since he thought it would scare and worry me, but unfortunately I've heard so many stories like this. I know perfectly well that there are bad things that could happen now or even later in the pregnancy, but there's no use worrying for myself. I'll update y'all when I hear more news about it.

I leave you with my 23 week picture and hope that my next post will be better:

5th appointment!

We had our fifth prenatal appointment today at 22w5d! We met with our favorite midwife so far, Tina. Evan's heartbeat was strong and clear at 155 beats per minute. He was moving around when the midwife was using the doppler and it was funny to hear it and feel it at the same time. I've been feeling him move so much more lately, all throughout the day. I used to only feel him at about 7:00 in the evening and then sometimes again around 9:30. Now I feel him a lot and I can feel him move, not just kick. It's great!!! Next appointment is the blood sugar screening test on June 8.

I have a new symptom that started just before going to Boston. Shin splints. OOohhhh the pain! Thankfully it wasn't so bad in Boston except the first day. I iced them for about an hour and then the rest of the time we were there they were fine. However, after getting back home they've been bothering me every day. The past couple of days they've only been sore, not really painful, but today the pain is back. I talked to a friend of mine who is an athletic trainer and she told me how to do ice massages and how to wrap my shins in bandages. Shin splints can be really bad if you don't take care of yourself. The bones can chip or the muscles can tear away from the bone. So I'm trying to be careful, I carry bandages with me everywhere and I'm *trying* to wear supportive shoes. I absolutely hate wearing shoes and socks though, especially when it's so nice and warm outside. I love my flipflops!! I was looking forward to wearing them all summer, but now it looks like that won't be happening. I'll have to buy some nicer running shoes, the ones I have are 5 years old, ugly, and not in the best shape.

Anyway, I talked to the midwife about the shin splints today. I was hoping they'd go away, but she said don't be surprised if I have problems with them the rest of the pregnancy. It's due to weight gain and possibly walking differently. Obviously that's not something that's going to change before Evan comes. This is definitely the most frustrating thing that's happened so far, not even because of the pain, but because it means I have to wrap my shins and wear shoes during the summer. But hey, if this is the worst thing that happens, I'd be very happy. This isn't that bad at all! Anyone else have experience with this?

My back has also been bothering me a little bit lately, but I'm thinking it's just from the trip to Boston, all of the walking and then sitting in the uncomfortable plane seats. Maybe after going to the chiropractor on Thursday that will be "fixed." I know I should expect back pain, most women with healthy spines have back pain during pregnancy, a woman with scoliosis is definitely going to be feeling it. But so far so good!

Other symptoms... some round ligament pain, not too bad. I have indigestion in the evenings, but also not bad. I drink chocolate milk almost every night which helps a lot. It's fun to drink it. It satisfies my sweet tooth but is much healthier than dessert. My skin still isn't looking so great, but not as bad as it was. I'm also gaining weight and it's obvious. In Boston I had several strangers comment on my pregnancy, the first time that's happened! My belly is much bigger, my boobs have grown a lot the past couple of weeks, and I'm starting to see it around my face. My fingers swell at night so I take my rings off then and during the day my rings are definitely much snugger. I don't know if it's permanent swelling or if I've just gained weight in my fingers. So far I'm leaving my rings on all day, hopefully they'll keep coming off at night!

Matt's co-worker, K, (who gave us the glider and swing) gave us 2 garbage bags filled with baby boy clothes!!! They are all size 3-6 months too! There's also sleep sacks and swaddling blankets (which I have NO CLUE how to use) in there. A lot of the clothes are long sleeved, which should work perfectly for Evan at that size. There's a lot of socks, slippers, and hats in there as well. They are all so cute!! I can't wait for Evan to make his appearance so I can dress him all up. :-) Oh yeah, there's no way Evan will ever wear all of that stuff in the amount of time he's in those sizes. We're already planning on giving some of the outfits away. K and his wife have 2 boys, so I guess that's everything they've collected for 2 babies, plus I wouldn't be surprised if they received some hand me downs from people to add to their babies' wardrobes. We've been so blessed to receive all of that stuff, K is so nice. It amazes me how much he and his wife have helped us.


Me with the clothes from the first bag:


Matt with the clothes from the second bag, including his favorite item, overalls!

Mother's Day *UPDATE

Happy Mother's Day to all of you, whether you are holding a baby in your arms or not! If you've had a miscarriage, you are still a mother. And if you are struggling with infertility, you are a mother at heart.

UPDATE: I've been thinking a lot about Mother's Day this morning since Matt has parking duty at our church and I've spent the morning alone. I feel so strongly that women who have suffered miscarriages and infertility should be recognized on this day too. But it seems odd to tell them "Happy Mother's Day" because it isn't really a happy day for them. I'm trying to think how I would feel if I wasn't pregnant right now. I think I'd be really bitter and not having the best day. But I also think I'd be touched to be recognized by others as the mother I would still be. My first baby was special and I was a mother all the way from last May until I found out I was pregnant again at the end of the year. So that's what I want to do today, recognize all the mothers and pray that you will all find a way to be happy today.

Boston & New England

I'm back! Our trip was amazing! Not only did we do a lot of fun things, everything went smoothly. There wasn't any stress or getting lost or wondering what to do next. That's my kind of vacation! I love it when we fit a lot in but still have time to relax.

Friday afternoon after going to our hotel and resting, we started down the Freedom Trail, a 2 and a half mile walking trail through downtown Boston that goes by all of the major historical sites. It's marked by a line of red bricks along the sidewalks and in some places by a thick line of red paint so you don't lose your way. We went halfway down the trail and stopped at Faneuil Hall for dinner and to do some shopping (we bought Evan a cute hoodie!). The most interesting site that day was Granary Burial Ground. It's filled with graves of some very important people, including victims of the Boston Massacre, Paul Revere, Samuel Adams, and John Hancock. It rained a little that afternoon, but not too much. The temperature was fine, especially with all of the walking we did.


On Saturday we started up on the trail at Faneuil Hall again. The second part of the trail isn't as "action packed," the only things to see are Paul Revere's house, the Old North Church, and Copp's Hill Burying Ground. It was still worth the walk though because we discovered some beautiful gardens (the flowers and trees there are just now in full bloom there). We ended up at the USS Constitution, the oldest commissioned naval vessel afloat in the world (launched in 1797). They are doing renovations on it, so it wasn't as neat as it was the last time I went (in 2002), but it's still an amazing thing to see and visit. The navy gives free tours of the ship, I definitely recommend going to see it if you're ever in Boston!

(Matt standing by the Paul Revere statue in front of the Old North Church)

After the Constitution, we went to the Public Garden, mainly to visit the "Make Way for Ducklings" sculpture. We bought Evan the book earlier that day and wanted to get some pictures with the sculpture to show him when he's older. The garden was beautiful! The trees and flowers were blooming, there were so many beautiful tulips planted everywhere. The weather was perfect at that point, in the mid-70s. The sun shone more that day than any of the others we were there. We found the statue and even though there was always a crowd around it, we were able to get a few pictures next to it.

On Sunday we slept in and spent the rest of the morning at Harvard, which is an amazing place! We just walked around and snapped pictures, we didn't really have a plan, but everywhere we went was beautiful. There was a festival going on in Harvard Square so we had fun crowd watching and listening to interesting music. Then we met up with Nity!!! I can't describe how fun it was to meet her in person. We had lunch with her and then met up with her husband, who is also a lot of fun. We walked around Concord, which has a lot of very old (and beautiful) houses. One of my favorite things to do on vacation is walk around and look at architecture, so Concord was a treat. We also walked on a trail that went past where the Revolutionary War started and some beautiful fields and woods.

(Harvard)

After Concord we stopped by their cute urban house and I got to meet their dog, who turned out to be really cute and fun. :-) I vote that Nity should post a picture of her on her blog! We went to a great pizza place and even had fun standing in line waiting to get in. It was definitely worth the wait! We took some leftovers to our hotel that night and as soon as we got in I ate more. lol They were so nice and drove us to the car rental place near the airport after dinner. I can't believe that we forgot to take pictures!!! I didn't even realize it until the next day. We had a camera, but I was so busy blabbing my mouth off that I forgot to take pictures, even though Nity and I had already talked about getting belly shots. She's 2 weeks ahead of me and our bellies are about the same size. She looks good!! She's tall and slender so I guess there's a little more room in there for her little boy or girl. As soon as we got to the car rental place and Nity and her husband drove away Matt said, "That was so much fun! I had a great time with them!" And I had to agree. :-) Matt had been a little nervous about spending a day with strangers, but we all got along great. I only wish we lived closer so we could see each other more often.

We spent Sunday night in Peabody, near Salem. Monday we went to Salem and were very disappointed in the main downtown area. It's mainly occupied by new age and witch stuff, which I knew about ahead of time, but I was still planning on parking downtown and then walking around the town to see the historical sites. However, after getting out of the car and seeing all of the not very nice looking people loitering around in the middle of the day, we rushed back to the car and left Salem without seeing anything. We had lunch at a nearby mall and then worked up enough courage to drive around the outskirts of Salem so that we could at least see some of the historical sites from the car. After getting over to the Maritime Site and the House of the Seven Gables (I haven't read the book, but Matt and I watched a film adaptation of it) we realized that area is fine so we parked the car and got out to walk around. I loved getting to see the places Nathaniel Hawthorne had been. We also saw the graveyard in Salem and the memorial to the witch trial victims.

(Salem Maritime Historical Site)

(House of the Seven Gables)

(Salem Burying Ground)

After Salem we drove to Manchester-by-the-Sea to walk around and have a snack. We didn't go out on the beach, but we drove by it and we did get out and walk around the harbor. We also went up to Crane Beach, which is beautiful! It's farther out in the country and we went walking along the beach. Then on to Newburyport where we ate a yummy seafood dinner at a restaurant that overlooked the water and boats.

(Crane Beach)

Monday night we discovered how close we were to Maine and decided to go up there on Tuesday. It was going to be cold and rainy, so we knew we didn't want to walk around much. We drove up and down the coast of Maine and drove through a bunch of cute little towns. We saw the Nubble Lighthouse, which was beautiful. It was actually neat that it was windy and rainy because the ocean was rough and the waves broke over the rocks.

Later that day we headed back to Boston and then on back home to Charlotte!

(22 weeks)