What's up with me!?

I can't believe it's been so long since I last posted, especially with everything that's been happening.

I'll kind of sum it up for y'all...

A couple of weeks ago, the week of Oct 18, I started having increased spotting (I'd already been having some, but not enough to be worried enough to make an appointment) and cramping. That had me worried, especially after my miscarriage. ** Let me pause here to say that everything is okay!! ** Of course all of this started on our way to Athens, Georgia, where Matt was going on a business trip. Evan and I were going along for fun, who would have thought it would turn out so badly!? I called the nurse the next day and she said to come in for an ultrasound......except I was 4 hours away from home and couldn't leave since Matt was working!! She said it would be okay to wait until that Friday for an ultrasound unless it got worse. She also said to go on pelvic rest (which I had already put myself on pelvic rest since I found out I was pregnant! lol). I was still having cramping that night. I called my mom and told her, she arranged for my sister to come pick me up the next day. But thankfully Matt was able to take off work so we left the next evening and I changed my u/s to Thursday in the early afternoon. That way my sister didn't have to drive 8 hours in one day to take me home.

I was SO SO SO nervous, I can't even describe. But we immediately saw the baby on the ultrasound and the u/s also picked up the sound of a healthy fast heartbeat!! I was even measuring a few days ahead. The baby was sleeping, the u/s tech tried to wake him up, but s/he wouldn't have it. Just like big brother Evan!

Anyway, it was determined that the spotting was from the cervix and normal and that the cramping is from my uterus expanding. The midwife said not to be concerned about the cramping and only call if the spotting turned to heavy bleeding. I had cramping that night, but ever since then I haven't had any cramping OR spotting. Thank the Lord!

We've been so busy this past month with traveling and visiting with family and friends. One weekend we went to my grandparents' house, then a birthday party one weekend, then we went to Athens, then to Savannah, and then there was Halloween. Evan dressed up as a dinosaur (of course!) and was ADORABLE!! He started completely walking on Oct 27 and I'm so glad he was walking for Halloween. I LOVE that he's walking. It's so much easier and now we can go outside all the time since he isn't dragging his knees and feet around in the dirt and on the concrete.

I gotta end this post for now, but I'll leave you with some pictures...

Words

Words Evan is saying at 13.5 months old:

Hey

Bye bye

Ma (Mama)

Da (Daddy)

Kitty

Milk

Duck

Bird

Book (he's still working on the pronunciation of this one!)

Nana (not so sure about this, but my mom insists he is saying it - meaning her of course)

Anxiety

Okay so here's the deal....

My anxiety attacks have dramatically increased since I became pregnant. Like.....on a good day I have 5-10 anxiety attacks, some days I have them almost constantly. That's made me more sick than morning sickness. I also feel like I'm having problems with depression.

I talked to my midwife last Tuesday and she prescribed me Zolo.ft for the anxiety. She isn't convinced that I'm having depression problems and thinks that it's probably just pregnancy in general making me feel this way. At the time I smiled and nodded, but I know my own body and I know that I've had some real depression. Thankfully that's been a little better the past couple of weeks, but the anxiety is still a problem. Regardless though, she said this medicine should help the depression if I'm experiencing that too, but not to be concerned if it doesn't go away, because that would just mean that it's normal pregnancy symptoms.

I'm on 25 mg of the medicine, a very low dosage. It took me until Sunday to start taking them. And I still feel guilty about it. I just don't know....I was hoping the midwife would tell me some natural remedies, but this is what she recommended first and she seemed to feel strongly about it.

Matt and I did research and there's no proof at this point that Zo.loft can cause problems in the first 2 trimesters. And then the effects of anxiety/panic attacks on a baby can be serious like development problems, increased risk of diabetes and heart problems in the future. My chances of preterm labor are increased.

Sigh.......... I feel anxious about this stupid anxiety medicine. I was ALL NATURAL with Evan. I never took a single pain reliever pill while I was pregnant. Not while I was pregnant, not during labor, not even after labor (well, until about a week went by and I had to take Motr.in for my sore breasts, but that's a whole other story!).

I also had a flu shot last week. I don't know if that was the right thing to do either. If my mom wasn't a teacher and didn't come into contact with the flu every year I probably wouldn't have taken it.

Did any of you take antidepressants while in your first trimester? I'm hoping to go off the medicine by the second trimester, but who knows. And did any of you get the flu shot while pregnant? I'm just so nervous and upset by this........ I just feel that I'm already failing this baby. I did everything right with Evan and felt so confident. And I feel like it's all out of control this time around.

guilty

I feel guilty for not eating well with this pregnancy. For not exercising. For not being as careful. For taking medicine instead of having the med-free pregnancy I had last time.

Gender theory *updated!

*UPDATE:Well I think that all the ladies on the message board I was on were confused! lol It's funny that EVERYONE was confused about the same thing. But I'm still not sure if it matters where the baby is located in the uterus or if it's where the placenta is located. And I don't know how to tell where the placenta is. Speaking of placentas, I hope I don't have an anterior one this time because I want to feel the baby kick sooner and more often!!

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http://www.obgyn.net/ultrasound/ultrasound.asp?page=/fm/articles/fetal_gender_placental_location

Interesting article about a theory that states that the gender of a baby can be determined from early ultrasounds. If the baby implants on the right side of the uterus it's a boy and if it's on the left side it's a girl.

I read a message board thread and it was correct for the women who had had babies before. I don't know if it's correct with Evan because I can't remember which side he was on and the u/s pictures I have are zoomed in and centered so I don't know.

Just wondering if any of you have heard of this and have an opinion. Obviously it's just a theory, but it may or may not have been right for you! I'm curious to know if it was and if you want to give me a link to your early u/s pictures feel free!

Evan's early u/s picture is on the right side bar (6w5d). His later u/s pictures are HERE (18w) and HERE (32w5d).

This baby's early u/s picture is less clear than Evan's (as far as seeing the baby). Probably because it was done almost a week earlier than his! I still need to post it, but it looks like the baby implanted on the left side so maybe a girl if this theory is correct? I will talk more about gender in a later post...

13 Months Old

My son is 13 months today! He's been celebrating by doing all kinds of exciting growing up things.

For the last week his first molar has been breaking through. He had his flu shot a week ago and had a fever that night. Then the next couple of days didn't eat as much. It wasn't until he started jerking his head away when I'd give him a sippy cup or put my hand near my face that I realized he was teething since I thought those symptoms were a side effect of the shot. I'm still not sure about the fever. He did have a teething fever of 101 a couple of months ago, but this was even higher (103). So maybe it was a combination of the shot AND teething.

He WALKED the other day!!! I said "come here" while he was standing holding on to the door jamb. He took a step, then looked down and deliberately took another step, then another step, then another. By then he was to me! I made a big deal about it and immediately went to change my facebook status, bragging about his accomplishment. I didn't think he'd do it again but I got right back down on the floor and stood him up a few feet away. He walked right to me! He did it several times. I think the most steps he took in a row were about 7. He did really well too, he didn't wobble much or fall down. He would always make it to me! I'm so proud of him, you'd think this was something only he does and not every single baby in the world, but he did such a great job!!

My mom said that when I was a baby I walked a couple of times when I was almost 1. I fell down and she said I didn't walk again for a couple of months, then when I did start I walked perfectly and never fell. I guess I was a perfectionist even then! But Evan is 13 months and just walked for the first time. He hasn't walked since then. I couldn't get him to yesterday or so far today. However, he did this same thing with crawling and a lot of the words he says. He'll do it a few times in a row, then stop doing it for weeks and then suddenly start again.

He also said 2 words together for the first time this morning! He said "Hey Kitty." He said it several times after Matt said it. SO cool!! He's just been all around more vocal today, saying words that he's been able to say for months, but usually doesn't say. He said "da" (daddy), "bye bye," "okay," "kitty," and "hey kitty" this morning.

He also got scratched by our cat Serenity this morning, shortly after saying "Hey kitty" to her. Evil cat. Her claw covers fell off weeks ago but we haven't had many problems with her scratching him so we didn't replace them. But tonight we will definitely put them back on her! She scratched his face, about half an inch under his eye. It bled and now there's a scab there and it's looking a little puffy around it. I washed it after it happened, but I'm going to watch it to make sure it doesn't get infected.

That's all for Evan's 13 month update. I think I still have yet to post his 12 month stats from his doctor's visit a month ago....I will have to do that soon!

ultrasound

The ultrasound went well on Friday!!! *big sigh of relief*

We saw and heard the baby's heartbeat. It was 92 bpm. I'm measuring what I thought I was measuring, but it's about a week earlier than they thought. So I was 5 weeks 6 days. My due date is officially May 14.

I haven't scanned the ultrasound picture yet, but I will post it soon. :-)