30 Weeks & 7th appointment

I can't believe that in about 10 weeks I'll be holding Evan in my arms!! He's about 2.5 - 3 pounds now and about 14.5 inches long. I've gained 19 pounds so far, so about 16 of that is something other than baby. I actually lost a pound last week because of the new diet, so now I'm under orders to eat the max amount of carbs I'm allowed at each meal and snack to keep my weight gain steady. It seems to have worked because I gained the pound back since Friday. So far I'm still right in the middle of the normal weight gain range.

Today I had another appointment with my midwife. She measured my uterus and said it's 29 cm, looking good. Evan's heartbeat was in the 140s, also good. I asked her what she thought L&D would be like now that I have GD and she said that we might induce at 39 weeks, but we'll see how things are going. It sounds like if Evan's weight gain is normal and my blood sugar levels stay steady then it won't be a problem. I was actually surprised that she is considering inducing, I figured that she would have more of a "we'll do it all natural unless something comes up and we have to do otherwise" attitude. I think she's saying the same thing now, but obviously she thinks it's more of a possibility than I was thinking. I'm feeling very laid back about it, if we induce, we induce. There's nothing to fret about. Also, I'm not even sure if my placenta has moved up so I may not even have the natural childbirth I'm planning on anyway! No need to start making firmer plans when I have no clue if it's even necessary.

Speaking of the placenta moving, we have an ultrasound scheduled for the 20th to make sure it has moved up. I'm so excited to see Evan again!!! I'm glad that it will be the day after I get back from Arkansas because that will make me feel more reassured that everything is okay after the flights, driving, etc. My midwife also recommended a group of pediatricians that are right next door to Matt's office and about 10-15 minutes from our house. I'm excited to find out more about them, I'm sure we'll end up going with someone in that practice.

I haven't been feeling so great the past few days. Very weak, tired, and even lightheaded/dizzy. The dietician says that it shouldn't be the diet, but the midwife is thinking that it is. Also, it is normal to experience some of these things the closer I get to delivery. I just think it's weird that I was fine until all of a sudden it hit. I've been working out regularly for months now and on Monday I couldn't even finish my weight lifting because my heart was pounding so hard. The midwife said to take it easy, make sure I'm not in a position where the baby is cutting off circulation of the main arteries, and if it keeps up to let her know. I sure hope it goes away, I hate the weak feeling. Being tired I can deal with, but my muscles feel like jelly, it feels hard to even sit at the computer and type or hold up a book. Very weird. Any of you experience this?

I don't have a 30 week picture yet, so you will have to make due with my 29W2D pic:

Music in Utero

THIS ARTICLE just about made me cry. I've sung to Evan a few times, but I'm going to try to do it multiple times a day now. What I really need is to get Matt to start singing to Evan! He has such a beautiful voice, I'm sure our son would rather hear him anyway. :-)

Shower

First of all I want to say CONGRATS to Crysbena!!!! She received a BFP a few days ago! Go to her blog to congratulate her and "oohh" and "aaah" over her strong HPT lines! I'm so happy for her for many reasons, one of which is because she's been trying for so long and has had a difficult road. It's one more friend I can cross off my "BFP Prayer List." I'll still pray for her, but just for a healthy and safe pregnancy. Also, she got married the same day Matt and I did and had a miscarriage the same week we did. Very weird coincidence that we found each other after that. Another friend I met on The Nest is the same way, married 10/7/06 and miscarried the last week of May. She got pregnant 4 months before I did, and now here's Crysbena pregnant about 5 months after me.

I also found out the date of my baby shower! It's July 28 at 7:00. I'm so excited!! I made up the guest list, which was harder than I thought it would be. The lady who is hosting it originally mentioned that it would be a small shower, around 15 people, mainly ladies from the church I used to go to. Which was fine! Now she's saying that I can invite whoever and however many people I want, but I think she's just saying that because she now knows I'm not having another shower for my other friends. I really appreciate her doing this for me and I don't want her to have to go out of her way any more than she already is. She's really good friends with my mom and my mom keeps saying I should invite more people, but I think my current guest list is fine. It will keep me from feeling guilty and I'll be all around comfortable. I have 18 people on there, 2 from out of state who most likely won't come. The hostess mentioned that she wanted to invite the ladies from her small group (that my mom is in too) and I said that is more than fine. As long as she doesn't mind the extra people! So I'm not sure how large the actual guest list is because I can't remember how many ladies are in that small group. And if any of you are going to be in the Charlotte area that day, you are invited too. :-)

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to it and I'm actually glad that it's small. I think that some of the guys Matt works with are going to throw us a shower at the office, but it's supposed to be a surprise for me. lol Matt just couldn't help himself and told me the other night. He said he hasn't heard much about it because originally it was going to be a surprise for him too, but his co-worker needed to make sure he'd be in town, so he asked him about having it sometime in late July. So they may not even be planning it at this point or maybe they are keeping it on the down low because they still want the actual date to be a surprise from Matt as well. Either way is fine, I am just amazed that they even considered throwing us one! I'm so grateful for the people we have in our lives.

One of Matt's co-workers just gave us a gift the other day from him and his wife. They just had their first baby a couple of months ago so they gave us all the things they found to be the most useful. A very neat portable changing pad (it has mesh pockets and a plastic pocket for wet items), some sleepers, onesies, pants, and diapers (all newborn sizes!). SO nice of them. :-) I'm glad that July is going to be such a busy month for me so that the time will fly by because I'm starting to get excited about the shower and then meeting Evan! I just need to fill up my August calandar...

29 Weeks

As far as the GD goes, things are kind of sort of getting better. The other day my levels were lower and that made me feel so much better, but yesterday they were back to being up. Very discouraging! Then last night not only could we not get blood to come out (Matt helps me after dinner when he's home), we found out that the last container of test strips we were given weren't compatible with our testing machine. It was too late to go to the pharmacy to get refills (which I didn't expect to have to do until Thursday) so we used the machine Matt's co-worker gave us before we knew if our insurance would cover one. It took awhile to figure the new one out and the entire thing stressed me out so much. I know none of you "get it," I know Matt doesn't really understand why I was so upset. But the entire thing is so frustrating: the diet, the blood testing, etc.

The weirdest thing is that this new machine is giving me much lower readings. It's a nicer model, you just touch the test strip to the drop of blood and it sucks it right up and immediately starts counting up the levels instead of making me drag the strip across my blood multiple times. So I'm kind of wondering if there isn't something wrong with the machine I was given? I will have to ask the doctor about it on Friday. However, getting levels in the appropriate range is great and my lunch level was so low I was wishing I had eaten another burrito! I'm only supposed to eat one at this point because the wheat tortilla is 24 grams of carbs and there are carbs in the beans (I can have a max of 45 g at lunch). Anyway, I'm just hoping things will continue to get better.

Highlights of week 28: feeling Evan hiccup for the first time! I know I already wrote about it, but I have just a little more to add. The first time was last Wednesday night, then again on Thursday morning. I haven't felt it since then until last night. I told Matt and he put his hand on my stomach and was able to feel too! He paused the show we were watching and we just laid there on the couch and felt him hiccup and talked to him. SO CUTE!!!

Another highlight, peeing my pants a little. lol! It was the weirdest thing and came completely out of the blue. On Sunday we were over at my parents' house playing THIS game. My dad joined in, which is incredibly rare in our household. As a matter of fact, I can't even remember the last time that he played a game with us. I vaguely remember it happening once when I was in jr high... Anyway, he was hilarious and he said something that made everyone burst out laughing. Well, a little pee happened to burst out of me at the same time. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, I didn't even feel it coming! Such a weird sensation. Thankfully it wasn't much, I just kept my mouth shut about it and nobody knew. lol Believe me, I'm doing more Kegels than ever after that incident!

Let's see, what else has been going on as far as pregnancy... I'm more tired these days. As a matter of fact, I could take a nap right now. And all I've done today besides computer stuff and making lunch is vacuum the house. And I'm not even completely done with that yet! I think I have a couple of more stretch marks on my butt, but none have appeared anywhere else so far. Evan is kicking and moving around more than ever. It's uncomfortable sometimes. I find myself pressing down to absorb some of the impact of his stronger kicks and when I am laying down I tend to change positions to make it a little more comfortable. I still love feeling him kick, I still can't help but smile! I know how depressing it is when he doesn't kick as much, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt/feel very uncomfortable sometimes.

I scheduled the hospital tour and 2 classes. The tour is on July 7! I'm really looking forward to it, the hospital we're delivering at has a fairly new maternity center (built in April 2008) and I've heard from several people that it's very nice. We have a breastfeeding class on July 9 and then an infant safety & CPR class on July 22. We decided to skip the childbirth class. We're going through the Bradley Method handbook and Husband Coached Childbirth, I think that will be enough. Going through the Bradley lessons and book has helped me feel more confident about labor and delivery. I'm not nervous about it at this point, I'm more nervous about just after delivery when I have a fragile infant to take care of! My next prenatal appt is July 1 and I'm eager to talk to my midwife about her thoughts on L&D, especially since I now have GD. We'll also schedule another u/s to see if my placenta has moved up and away from my cervix.

Relaxation day

Today I'm trying to relax and de-stress. It's been a bad weekend for me, I've felt so stressed and anxious the entire time. This whole GD thing is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I ate like normal Friday night and Saturday morning and was very discouraged to see that my blood sugar levels were very high after meals and even a little high in the morning before breakfast. So I figured I'd better straighten up sooner rather than later so Saturday I started my GD diet instead of waiting for Sunday like I originally planned.

The worst parts were getting high levels after some meals even after following the carb guidelines. Saturday night I had 40 carbs for dinner (I have a limit of 45) and still had a blood sugar level that was 31 points over the highest average level. The levels I'm supposed to have after meals are 90-120. Before breakfast it should be 60-90. I always have levels on the high side, but I'm not worrying if they are only a couple of digits over. Anyway, it's just stressful when my levels are just as high after eating a low carb meal as they are after eating like I normally do. However, today is the first day that my levels have been within the limit. Yay! Maybe it took a few days for the sugar to completely leave my system?? I have no clue.

The other worst part is how hard it has been to get blood to come out of my fingers. The majority of times I've pricked my fingers so far nothing has come out. However, my fingers are left with bruises and red marks where the needle goes in. I'll squeeze and squeeze and only a little blood will come out, not enough to register on the little machine. So then I have to do it again...and again... and it hurts every time. I tried on the sides of my fingers first (like I was told to do) but even tried on the pad of my finger which usually gives more blood. We made the needle a little longer to make sure it's going in far enough, but then I was getting bruises. Anyway, yesterday Matt read about this problem and said that it's recommended that you wash your hands with warm water and then massage the finger tip a little before pricking it. Sure enough, it's worked the first time every time since then! So I'm glad that it looks like that frustrating and stressful problem is at least being worked out.

I've also been surprised at how hard it is to follow this diet plan. It's very depressing for me to be hungry after not eating as much as I'm used to for dinner and then not even being able to eat my favorite snacks - cold cereal, PopTarts, muffins, and chocolate milk. I didn't think I'd miss those things so much. I also dislike having to snack during the day, I've never been a big snacker, I'd rather eat 3 larger meals than small meals and several snacks. At this point I'm supposed to eat 3 snacks as well as 3 meals. It's hard to find snack food that I enjoy that complies with the diet guidelines. I feel like I'm forcing myself to eat.

The diet is also kind of confusing, I'm still figuring it out. Like, I discovered that you can subtract fiber grams from carb grams if you have more than 5 grams of fiber in a food item. Somehow I missed that part of the "orientation." I'm still confused as to whether you can subtract proteins from the carbs too. For now I'm just making sure that I don't go over the limit of carbs, I'm not even trying to subtract due to fiber. I'll ask the doctor more about it on my appointment on Friday. Did I already mention that now I have appointments every 2 weeks at the diabetes center? It's nice that they are working so closely with me, but a little annoying that I have to spend so much time driving up there and at the appointments.

Anyway, wish me luck, especially at night before bed when I usually eat my "comfort foods" that are no longer allowed. And yes, I do realize that this could be much, much worse and that a diet plan really isn't that bad, etc. It's just been a rough adjustment for ME.

On a happy note - we had a fun Father's Day! I gave Matt gifts in the morning, we went to my parents' house for lunch, and then Matt and I went out for dinner and to see the symphony's free concert in the park that night. It's cool because the Charlotte Symphony Orchestra has free outdoor concerts every weekend in June, they do it every year and even though it was hot last night, we still had a good time!

GD appointment

Tuesday's appointment was rescheduled for this afternoon. A lady from the diabetes center called yesterday and said there was a cancellation and that they would like to get me in so I said sure. She neglected to say that the appointment would be 2 hours long... nice surprise. ;-)

Anyway, I suppose it went pretty well. I still feel a little overwhelmed though, but for now I'm trying to relax and not stress about it. Hey, stress affects blood sugar too! Matt wonders if that wasn't why I failed the tests, it could have simply been stress about the tests that made my levels so high. Anyway, we went over a diet plan with the doctor. A lot of my favorites aren't on the acceptable list, notably cold cereal and muffins. There is one type of cold cereal that is okay though, so I'm hoping I will like it since that's something I am always in the mood for, plus it's easy.

She showed me how to prick my fingers and test my blood. I have to do it 4 times a day. :-P Let me tell you, I was nervous about doing that! I've never pricked my own finger before. I've had nurses do it a couple of times, but I've never done it myself. I was surprised at what a chicken I was about it. I had to brace myself and Matt said I was shaking when I was holding the needle trigger thing. lol! It wasn't bad at all though, but I think it'll take awhile before it feels even slightly natural. We tested my blood there and I had an 82, perfectly normal. Hmm...

I'm supposed to go to the diabetes center every other week. The weeks I don't go in I have to fax them my the chart with my levels for that week. I was surprised at how often I have to go in for visits...but oh well.

Matt thinks the whole thing is still fishy. He's not convinced I really have GD and honestly, I'm not completely convinced either. So, we've decided to do our own series of tests. Tonight and tomorrow I'm going to eat like normal, I'll pretend like I've never heard of GD, but still check my blood at all the right times. It will be interesting to see if any of my levels are elevated.

I think that's pretty much everything... last night we had R and his girlfriend C over and had a lot of fun. We played THIS game, which is a lot of fun. Tonight C is coming to hang out while R is at work. I'm really tired, but I think we'll go out shopping and see if I can find part 2 of my Father's Day gift for Matt.

Dreams & Hiccups

Last night I had a dream that I was at my grandparents' house and the entire family was there. In the dream I ate an entire brownie and then realized, I'm not supposed to eat high sugar foods! What was I thinking!? I was so upset that I had eaten this huge brownie without even thinking about it, especially when I have GD. I guess some of the stress of all of this is coming out in my dreams!

I've only had a few baby dreams since getting pregnant. The first few, the ones I had before I knew we were having a boy, weren't even ones about Evan. They were about babies we adopted. In one I was pregnant, but we adopted another child too and the dream concentrated on me taking care of that baby.

After finding out that we were having a boy and starting to look forward to EVAN, I had a dream that he was born and that I let my MIL and mom watch him and they lost him. I remember panicking when I realized what happened and everyone was saying I was making way too big a deal of it and that everything would be okay. My entire family (immediate and in-laws) were acting like I was really stupid for being upset that Evan was lost. In the dream I called him by name, it was definitely my baby. At the end of the dream someone brought him in and I ran over and picked him up and hugged him to me. It was an amazing feeling. :-)

The other day I had another dream specifically about Evan. I'm upset that I can't remember it now. I had meant to write it down in my journal or blog about it right away, but obviously I didn't. If I remember what it was about I'll write about it. From what I can remember it wasn't a negative dream though, not like the first one when he was lost.

The past couple of months I've also had several dreams in which I am pregnant, but they aren't specifically about pregnancy or Evan. It's all about something else, I just happen to be pregnant with my big belly.

Oh yeah, I'm almost positive I've felt Evan hiccup twice now!!! Once last night and then again this morning. It's like a very light tapping inside of me that is spaced out evenly. At first I thought it was him lightly kicking or punching, but it's not like any kicks I've felt so far and it is more consistent than any of his other movements. It's also deep inside, kind of near my pelvis bone. Which he normally doesn't kick down there.

It's actually weird, he almost always kicks on my right side or in the middle of my belly, rarely on the left. A couple of days ago I woke up and my left side was bulging a little more and was harder. Later I felt him kicking over there, but since then he's back on the right side. I will feel movements on the left side, just not as often and they aren't kicks. My stomach is slightly lopsided most of the time, it almost always bulges more on the right side than on the left. The midwife said that's okay though. Did you notice that your baby seemed to stay more on one side or the other?